Maybe a bird… Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it away together?
Have you checked for any holes in your wall? Maybe you coughed or sneezed while sleeping.
Or if there are multiple holes in the walls shine a laser though the holes to get the butt plug trajectory.
If there are multiple holes in the wall, find the one that was made for your buttplug.
It’s a riddle. It was made of ice.
Or chocolate
… some stay dry, others feel the pain.
I move away from the mic to breathe in
😂🍫🌧️
Imagine the frostbite
You mean a freezejob, aka rimfreeze
Their assets were first frozen then liquidated.
I like how he clarifies that he lives alone.
“Sure, one of my roommates could have come in and poked around in my butthole while I was sleeping. But no one was in a position to do such a thing.”
Occam’s razor and all that
Occam’s buttplug
It’s always in there
Hey I had a roommate that would steal my inserted butt plugs while I was sleeping.
And then what?
Subscribe to my only fans to find out more.
I dunno how exhausted or drunk you’d have to be to pass out with one of those things inserted. Seems like it’d feel like a turd half out and your body would prefer you deal with that and not fall asleep.
Spoken like somebody who’s never used a butt plug
Yeah, that’s why I said “seems like” and not “when I do it (this) happens”.
You do you.
You should also do you… with a butt plug.
Lol, I appreciate the sentiment.
Nah good ones are pretty comfy and after a while if you don’t cause it to shift you forget it’s there
Why are you even wearing one atp if you forget it’s there 🤣
Because being suddenly reminded that it’s there is the point.
It’s the unexpected sensations that are the most powerful.
Because when you do shift around slightly…
Anon needs to go to a hospital soon
but sadly, Anon is American
The worst condition of them all.
No shit.
Literally.
for OOP, yes
Object Oriented Programmers never poop? Interesting.
exactly. neither do Online Only People. interestingly, Poop&Online Only People (POOP), even though they are very similar to OOP, do, in fact, poop.
Better get an MRI to look for it
Ouch… We don’t want to kill that anon!
It’s another carbon monoxide poisoning poisoning
Buttplug fairy takes the buttplug and leaves you with a shart.
Know your local mythology.
Shart Fariy 🧚💩
The more timid subspecies of the feared diarrhea-jet-superpropulsion fairy.
Some say a mere glance of this fairy can have you leave orbit!
Can we ask that Diarrhea Jet Fairy to visit certain ones?
Weaponisation of fecal fairies can lead to aftermaths of unprecedented destruction on all sides leaving the whole plane of existence a shitty mess.
But, in the interest of exactness, yes, you can def do that, just ask directly. Usually the convo would go something like “Hey, can you pay a special visit to that guy?” - “Why?” - “Why not?” - “Good point, I’m on it!”
Well probably someone already asked one. I mean…
* gestures broadly at the world *There will always be shitty humans asking shitty fairies to additionally enshittify the already pretty shitty world just to shit on someones day a bit more.
Humans have been great at fighting shit with additional shit, and then wonder tirelessly where all the shit came from.
And it’s from the shit-fairies!!!
Must have been the wind
Maybe just a homeless guy
Anon will need a plumber because he got up in a daze to use the bathroom.
Did it have a flared end?
If yes:
It’s in the toilet, he sleep walked and took a shit and doesn’t remember.
or
He pooped it out while sleeping and his dog ate it.
If no:
Butt plug goblins.
They can be warded away with a metamucil potion.
Way worse than your dog eating your homework
Do people actually do this?
People aren’t buying all those butt plugs for decoration. People fall asleep. I don’t imagine many people sleep with them on purpose, but certaintly possible to pass out with a butt plug in place.
Sorry, I thought the implication was that someone intentionally slept with one in. I don’t know how you’d sleep like that.
falling asleep is the easy part, the hard part is waking up with a sore asshole knowing you need to make it worse to make it better
That’s why hard plugs are for short periods of fun times, and soft plugs are for all day / all night usage.
Speaking from experience.
Don’t do this too often though! Prolonged dilation (>2 hours) can damage your sphincter and give you incontinence in the long run. Probably not a problem if done rarely, but if it happens regularly it can become a problem
Sadly, there’s a lack of formal studies to determine how often is too often. I think “pay attention to your body” is generally good advice. If anything is sore or hurting, it’s probably time to take a break. Kegel exercises also help keep the sphincter from weakening over time, useful advice even for people who aren’t into butt stuff.
I mean, your hole shouldn’t be sore in the morning unless you’re sizing up with a new plug. Especially not with a stereotypical conical thin necked black silicone one. I’ve slept with plugs with a neck diameter of like 1.25" before
Maybe? This came from 4Chan so it’s very possible it could be entirely made up lol
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.”
Literally on 4chan as a header.
also, a statement by Fox News lawyers. (though maybe they used the word “entertainment” instead.)
4chan makes me believe it more in this case
Made up aaaaand?
Attracted to the same gender
Anything on 4chan I assume isn’t real, but pretend it is. More fun that way.
I do yea
I’ve done it before
Username checks out…
Women amirite
And gay men. Or maybe that’s a 90s thing.
I allow some gay men to bear the rank of trash girlfriend
And you’ll do it again?
It’s not out of the realm of possibility
Hyuk
May I ask why? No disrespect intended, just trying to understand.
Was horny, it’s hot
That’s the thing. I’d be horny all night and wouldn’t be able to sleep.
Hard not to fall asleep at 4am after that 10 hour goon sesh.
Mostly joking.
Mentally ill people perhaps
You sleep with poop inside of you every night, hoping your muscles will save you, we are just being responsible.
Prude
If the price of being healthy is being called a prude, I’ll take that for infinity.
Gatekeeper
Well yeah, that’s literally the point of the plug.
Mmmm, that’s some fresh greentext too!
So fresh it’s still green
Yeah it doesn’t have the remnants of being compressed to .jpg over 1000 times over. Just doesn’t have the same feeling with it though.
Oh wow. I’ve never seen one this fresh!
Funny, that’s the same thing a stray cat said when it found that butt plug.
Ambiguous. Could be September 3rd.
And from the future apparently
True, I didn’t notice the year. :)
i rate this greentext fake on scale of 1 to gay
A wizard did it.
but anon’s a wizard himself
and then the doctor says “I can’t operate on this wizard… he’s my son!!”
Anon is a Butt Wizard I think is what you meant
I’m having the perfect T-shirt for him
Btw: I couldn’t upload the picture to Lemmy directly, as it’s probably too large for my instance limits. But I’m not sure which image sharing platform is still ok to use (after imgur) and I’m even more stuck in how to embed the linked image correctly in a comment, besides just linking to it.
What’s the correct way to do this?Trying to embed the image:
He needs a laundry hamper.
Thank you very much!
Keep the t-shirt artwork flowing!
catbox.moe might be an option.
You might be better off learning to use an app or editing to crop and then swap old image formats to webp in order to get them much smaller. In Linux it usually happens automatically by just renaming the file from something like .jpg to .webp.
I would have grabbed the image to post it as an example but the postimg host is a mess of a website I don’t let through my firewall (IIRC from the last time I tried). I don’t think they allow direct embedding either, thus the reason their website is such a convoluted mess of junk happening in the background.
You could sign up on a Pixelfed instance, or self host if interested as that is part of the fediverse.
The image embedding syntax on Lemmy is
Thanks, maybe it’s my client that’s limited.
But, Ehm … Regarding the Linux part:
Just renaming a file shouldn’t convert it to something else - at least Linux isn’t doing that, especially as it doesn’t cares that much about file suffixes.
So what do you mean, that automatically converts it?
If you rename something in the terminal, it just gets a different name (which includes the suffix), but that won’t change anything in the dataWhat do I miss here?
Thanks for the pixelfed hint, I just signed up while posting, to have an alternative in the future :-) And especially thanks for the Lemmy markdown formatting to embed an image!
That one was the thing, I was looking for!Edit: and worked perfectly fine the embed the image from postimg - you just need to use the direct image link
At least it shows fine in the comment on my side nowMaybe I installed something or wrote a script that I forgot about (happens cause super sleep deprived from disability, broken neck and back), or maybe it is a fedora thing (I think it is this), but yeah, if I change the suffix it also changes the model file automatically. If it can’t do the change it will tack on the additional suffix. So like if I try to rename image.jpg to image.png, it just does it, but if I rename image.jpg to image.svg it will automatically rename to image.svg.jpg to let me know that it does not work.
Hm…ok, never heard of that - at least not without extra programs
Does that also work from the terminal or only inside your file browser?
Because, as said, Linux usually doesn’t care that much about suffixes, but much more about the file type in the file header.
At least that’s my experience and what I’ve read.But thanks for the info.
Not sure, if I’d like to have it though or rather not ;-)Edit: and out of interest, what happens, when you rename it to something “near” like an svg or pdf, or something completely different like a mp3 - or interesting would also be a video format, if you only get a single frame then
Thanks, I’ve never heard of that and would really like to know what does it and how it’s coping with things, that aren’t compatible - or are harder to convert
Reminds me of a show I saw in Melbourne.
