If you use language like "beta" unironically, you may already be a beta.
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
208 points (94.4% liked)
Greentext
4329 readers
1391 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Beta status exists in a quantum superposition until someone watches Joe Rogan unironically and it collapses into their nuts.
The full Tate Maneuver requires blackmail. Your first mistake was not getting the dirt on her, beta cuck OOP.
What kind of insult is Object Oriented Programmer??
Everyone knows functional programming is the only real programming.
OOP is for betas
But also alphas, and full releases
Original Poster: person who submitted this to Lemmy
Original Original Poster: person who submitted the story to 4chan
Because of the implication.
The only solution to get out of this is to pretend to be flamboyant and treat it like you use that phase everywhere.
"This chocolate is so good let's have sex" and "thank you for these extra napkins we should have sex". Say it everywhere. To mailmen. To your boss. To dogs.
Make everything about sex.
The boss is surprisingly down to fuck. He even has condoms and lube in his office drawer.
she says: what
Chicken butt.
You know Why?
Chicken thigh!
Any idea what show or movie this screenshot is from? Pretty sure that’s Carrie Coon but I don’t recognize the context.
Possibly Fargo, there's a scene where she's clumsily hit on by a colleague.
Edit: Just checked, Fargo season 3 episode 3.
Yeah she travels to LA to figure out some stuff that happened in the past, and another cop (played by Rob McElhenny, most famous for playing Mac on It's Always Sunny) is super helpful and showing her around and eventually loses his patience and just asks point blank whether they're going to have sex. Confirming that he was just being nice in the hopes of being able to bang.
Anon is a professional photographer and this is a sly phone pic.
You assert dominance by tearing your shirt off, jumping on a table and hooting while beating your chest.
It's too bad these incels can't get Groundhog Day'd until they learn to be decent people.
Whoever makes a simulator that converts incels to healthy well-adjusted men successfully is going to be a millionaire.
DO
NOT
PUT
INCELS
IN
A
TIMELOOP
WITHOUT
CONSEQUENCES
On one hand, good point, that's kinda horrifying now that you mention it. 😬
On the other hand, wouldn't "without consequences" mean "without consequences?"
That depends on a whole lot more existential philosophy than I care to type about on a phone, but I guess you can just ask yourself if it's a crime against your moral authority of choice if no one remembers it.
They choose what, please provide
"What country are you from?"
"Back to the drawing board."
I SAID your dishwasher makes a lot of noise!
Want me to take a look at it?
Fake: anon asks for sex
Gay: anon gets pegged
"Cool. Got a hit friend you can hook me up with?"
ive heard of hitmen, what are hit friends? what do they do? where do they live? I NEED ANSWERS!!
"you heard what I said" lol