this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 153 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I want to believe that the kids mentioned in posts like this are playing along with their parents' delusions so they don't have to sit through another lecture about how the Federal Reserve is a Ponzi scheme and they're chemtrailing us with fluoride.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Dude, kids believe in magic.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Haha you reminded me of a video of some poor young teen having to film his mother making chemtrails disappear by spraying a bottle of vinegar at them.

He was so unenthused.

Edit: I can't find it. My guess it was obv taken down .

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[–] Squorlple@lemmy.world 140 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Rice confirmed sentient and sapient. Vegans everywhere are in tears. International governments are drafting a Bill of Rice to ensure the rights of these beings. Churches are redirecting rice purchased for weddings to be given directly to their missionaries. Little do we know, the grains will soon band together and revolt, and the Rice War will be upon us.

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh man we'd be so fucked if all plants were sentient. We'd still eat, but we'd be doomed to commit plant war crimes to live

[–] RedstoneValley@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

They could be sentient without us knowing. But they live on a different time scale. Everything we do to them would happen very quickly in their perception. So don't worry and bon appetit.

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[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 79 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The hate jar has visible condensation. The moisture probably is driving the mold growth.

[–] mikezeman@lemm.ee 118 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] tautalas@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] mikezeman@lemm.ee 22 points 2 months ago

I woke up with mold growing in my hair because of this comment

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 76 points 2 months ago

And this is how you fail in teaching your children science.

One, day... some adult is going to think "that fucking cunt ass bitch lied to me about the rice".

[–] python@programming.dev 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is this like, some weird parent "lesson" thing you're actually supposed to fake? Like maybe you're supposed to put some vinegar in the good jar to prevent mold growth, and the goal is to make your dumbass children behave?

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago (2 children)

No better lesson learned than being lied to by those in authority...

[–] _g_be@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

2 lessons in one!

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 52 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

"Words truly matter" but I can't understand for the life of me what these ones mean. Can someone help me out?

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Words have powers bordering on magic, I guess is the idea.
And for many people that's true, for as long as they are willing to believe that.

So I guess what I'm saying is that placebos have powers bordering on magic.

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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 52 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If rice has feelings, consider the unimaginable horror you're inflicting when you eat a bowl of it for lunch.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i would fucking hope it's dead by then, just like how i don't worry about the feelings of a cooked porkchop

the horrifying part is when the rice is harvested and processed, dear lord

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine the screams, just like grass.

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[–] AWittyUsername@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

What would vegansneven eat

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Stupid people think they are profound thinkers.

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[–] Greg@lemmy.ca 41 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Huh, it really makes you think... some people have no idea how to run an experiment or about statistical significance.

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nah, they actively avoid it. My mom was also like this, and when we did experiments as a kid and something didn't work "we were just doing it wrong".

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like my mom too.

She practiced reiki at one point and wanted to convince me it works by trying it on me. When I said I didn't feel anything at all her reply was "oh well that's probably just because you don't believe in it."

...I love you mom, but yes that is it and not in the way you think it is lol

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[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Godort@lemm.ee 36 points 2 months ago

Those treated with kindness are better for eating.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Maybe they just love segregation and hate culture?

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We've finally figured out how to develop an active sourdough starter in record time. You curse at it.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

So that’s why the dough is so sour.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now I feel bad for blue cheese, must have been abused all this time.

[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

The more people hate blue cheese, the bluer it gets

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 35 points 2 months ago

So hate helped sprouting mold, therefore new life?

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

All I can see is that this might be evidence that jars with green lids ate bad for storing food. Further studies are needed.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Kind words ~~satanise~~ sanitise & sterilise.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I think this is a wink towards the idea that your plants grow better when you talk lovey-dovey to them

[–] menemen@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

It is probably true though. Speaking to them every day, means looking at them every day and thus seeing problems immediately. Okay, so not true, but still effective.

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[–] systemglitch@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Yeah I've always found that silly, they just like our breath.

[–] Sneptaur@pawb.social 15 points 2 months ago

It’s really funny how the “bad” rice is photoshopped

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Eww after four days that rice is very much ruined. Freeze your rice and you can put the most vile words you want on the jar. Or not, because this is stupid and you're wasting rice.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

No mycelium on either one I see.

Next time I recommend staying silent and paying attention to the moment as you make your cake

[–] Muffi@programming.dev 7 points 2 months ago

Homeschooling sure is... Something!

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