this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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Van de Velde was booed and jeered while competing at the Games. Dutch Olympic officials went to lengths to protect him from the press during the event.

He has now opened up to Dutch publication NOS about his experience, admitting that while he anticipated backlash, the intensity of it took him by surprise. "I definitely had a moment of breaking down, both before the tournament and during it. But I thought 'I'm not going to give others the power to bully me away or get me away'.

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[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 181 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm sorry... you feel like you're the wronged party here?

Is this dude a fucking sociopath?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 104 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Probably, considering he groomed a child in another country over the internet before he traveled there and raped her repeatedly.

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[–] JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

He's pulling out a smaller version of the DARVO tactic. Sexual predators do that quite a bit when they get caught.

Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.

"The audience was wrong to boo me! They're the bullies!" Meanwhile he completely ignores why he got booed.

[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 143 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well maybe you shouldn't have raped a child, dipshit.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 74 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Multiple times. And only got a year in prison for it.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Multiple was unknown to me. Even worse. And this article was the first time I saw that he travelled to another country to do so. Wow. I wonder how this has affected the victim.

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[–] foggy@lemmy.world 119 points 2 months ago

I definitely had a moment of breaking down, both before the tournament and during it. But I thought 'I'm not going to give others the power to bully me away or get me away'

Yes. Don't let anyone have power over you, like a 19 year old would over a 12 year old. Don't let them bully you, rapey mcrapeface.

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 95 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bully you? Motherfucker, you raped a 12 year old multiple times and kept going when she said you were hurting her.

[–] greywolf0x1@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This, I support criminal rehabilitation but only if you've served your time correctly, never expected this to be condoned in Europe amongst other places, I think he deserves to at least serve his full conviction time

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

I'd be a little more understanding if he seemed remorseful at all. He does not.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 79 points 2 months ago (7 children)

And he still hasn't apologized for what he did.

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 62 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

He also doesn't consider himself a pedophile despite grooming and raping a child multiple times.

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[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 59 points 2 months ago

Am I the problem? Has this been the result of my actions? Have I done something henious? No, it's the audience that's wrong - this fucking chode

Boo-fucking-hoo. I'm so sorry people weren't so dazzled by your athletic ability to ignore the fact that you're a rapist. I'm sure the 12 year old you raped is also real fucking worried if her rapist is getting his feelings hurt. I mean, rape is one thing, but bulling? I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere. /s

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 49 points 2 months ago

"I'm not going to give others the power to bully me away or get me away"

Uhhh, WHAT?!?

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago

Some people haven’t been punched in the mouth and it really shows

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 43 points 2 months ago

some mistakes you pay for your entire life. just like your victim(s). next time you do a streetview search of your neighborhood for sex predators, remember that all those pins covering the map only represent the people who got caught

[–] Murvel@lemm.ee 40 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Alright.. now I'm willing to bet that most people on here, if asked, believe strongly in criminal rehabilitation. But the comments here make me think 'maybe not'.

Would someone please explain that?

[–] SilentStorms@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (9 children)

Sure. He hasn't taken any real responsibility nor faced adquete consequences for raping a child. He blames others for "bullying" rather than making any attempt to understand the outrage.

If his crime had been committed decades ago, and he faced appropriate sentencing, and made steps at reconciliation with the community this would be a more nuanced conversation.

[–] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 17 points 2 months ago (12 children)

He was arrested, prosecuted and convicted. He pled guilty. He served his prison sentence and underwent psychological treatment. He has taken extensive measures to avoid contact with children. This all happened over a decade ago. He repeatedly reflected on what happened and regrets it to this day.

The child in question only seems to regret he was arrested, and cut herself because of it. She doesn't seem to think negatively about him at all, and because of that he was not convicted of grooming.

At this point, what the fuck more do you want from him? He's fully rehabilitated. He knows what he did, why it's bad and has done more than enough to prevent it from happening again. This "moral outrage" is just stupid and seems to be largely fuelled by right-wing British tabloids, because here in the Netherlands nobody seems to give a shit.

What's your message here? "Rape a child, rape a dozen, we don't care because we're going to ostracize you from society forever?" Why would anyone bother to rehabilitate then?

[–] hikaru755@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

we're going to ostracize you from society forever

That is very different from simply not wanting him to be a representative for his country and potential role model for aspiring athletes in one of the biggest media events of the world though. Being welcomed back as a member of society is one thing, but there is a point to be made about expecting more of Olympic athletes than your average member of society.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

The child in question only seems to regret he was arrested, and cut herself because of it.

You really do not understand the psychology of a rape victim.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202105/why-some-rape-victims-continue-to-date-their-rapist

She doesn’t seem to think negatively about him at all, and because of that he was not convicted of grooming.

How do you know what she thinks today? There is a reason many countries do not consider a 12-year-old to be able to consent to sex. They don't understand sex. They don't understand rape. They may have only been menstruating for less than a year.

[–] Wade@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Why are you defending a pedophile so hard in this thread?? He didn't even serve his full sentence since he was pulled out of the UK early. What we want from him is an apology for what he did, but it doesn't look like we will ever get that since he is now playing victim as the rapist. Maybe if he actually served his full sentence things would be a little different, but he got a small slap on the wrist for one of the worst crimes someone can commit. He should never have been sent to the Olympics as a representative of the Netherlands.

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[–] SmoothOperator@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (4 children)

No sympathy for him from here, but this is an interesting conversation about justice.

Is it his responsibility that the justice system gave him the sentence it did?

Who gets to decide what is adequate consequences, how long ago the crime should have been, what is appropriate sentencing and what is appropriate steps of reconciliation?

I agree with the gut feeling that he was sentenced lightly, but as the previous comment said, how do we combine that with a belief in the rehabilitation of criminals?

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I absolutely believe in rehabilitation. I also don't believe that a little over a year in prison for repeatedly raping a child is enough time to rehabilitate someone who did that. As I pointed out elsewhere in the thread, he's done things like say it was a mistake, but he has yet to apologize for it. That, to me, says he has not been rehabilitated. In fact, I would say that one of the first signs of rehabilitation is to apologize for your actions.

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago

I'd argue being an Olympian, which requires relying on a mix of public funding, ones own resources (usually family or sponsors), and gives an international platform, media coverage and potential prominence is a privilege given quid pro quo for behavior befitting that privilege.

Post-rehabilitation and having served one's time - There's no reason this person couldn't practice their sport in private, there's no reason this person couldn't be a private citizen with a regular office job.

However, I'm sure you could agree that they shouldn't ever be allowed to work with children again, so there must be a line of compromise you agree with.

I'd also argue that knowing that one's mistakes - although paid for - may have lifetime consequences - are also part of the rehab process. Like how alcoholics can never have one drink again.

[–] fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I get the impression that many lemmy users don't have a lot of life experience. Everyone deals in absolutes and ideals, no one seems to see the nuance.

The question of "should this guy be allowed to compete" is a complex one, and anyone who thinks there's an easy answer is an idiot.

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[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Every child rapist should be booed, and worse, whether they're an olympic athlete, a former president, whatever

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[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

He can cry all he wants.

[–] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"It's certainly not nothing that's been fired at you. I think it's a shame, it's been 10 years, I've played more than 100 tournaments. I understand that it's an issue, should someone with such a past be allowed to stand on such a podium? That's a legitimate question."

He seems somewhat self aware…

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[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Controversial take: If people don’t want pedos back in society, don’t let them back in society. Change the laws.

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[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago
[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Sure sign of mental illness is the idea that somehow you are the victim when you raped a child.

[–] Phegan@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Why are they even interviewing him, he should be shunned.

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