• Fizz@lemmy.nz
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    3 months ago

    Everything seems crazy when you think a man in the sky created the world.

        • sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip
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          3 months ago

          I think that was Lot, former husband of world’s most humanoid salt-lick.

          Job basically gets royally fucked over by God due to God getting goaded into doing so by Satan.

          Job is God’s most devout follower so God wants to prove to Satan that Job will still love God even if he is reduced to misery.

          So then basically God makes him poor, kills a bunch of his livestock, kills a bunch of his family, and gives him a horrendously painful plague, which ostracizes him from his whole community who only drop by to mock how pitiful and wretched he is and to gaslight him into thinking he must have sinned horribly.

          Job basically goes “Why God, Why?” and God shows up and spends a chapter or two boasting about how awesome he is, and tells Job he should be thankful for what he still has.

          This whole ordeal for Job lasts I think nearly a decade, ending only when Satan concedes that Job is truly faithful.

          Then God restores Job’s health, some of his wealth and … either resurrects some of his family or gives him a new wife and he has more kids.

          The moral of the story is apparently supposed to be that you should always have faith in God even when everything sucks, but the more obvious take away is that God is immensely petty, cruel and vain.

          • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub
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            3 months ago

            I always wondered if Satan was actually defeated by this, or if he spent the whole ordeal just thinking, “Oh, whoa, he actually took the bait. Holy shit, he’s actually doing it. This is hilarious. I can’t believe it was this easy. Unreal.”

            • sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip
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              3 months ago

              So, IIRC, Job was written during the time where ‘Satan’ was not really a kind of … evil lord of this world, the way he was later interpreted by Christians and some later Jews.

              ‘Satan’ is actually a kind of descriptive, formal title meaning something like: the accuser/the prosecutor. Its more literally translated as The Satan.

              Basically, his job was to second guess God as a kind of … opposite of a yes man. Basically his role was to … what we would now say ‘play devil’s advocate’.

              This makes more sense when you realize that Judaism emerged from a polytheistic/henotheistic Canaanite religion.

              El or El Elyon (God Most High or God the Greatest) is the sort of Zeus-like master or most powerful of all the gods, the sect that eventually developed into Judaism began referring to him as Yahweh, Ashera is his consort and Goddess of fertility, Elohim is actually plural and means the gods, Ba’al was part of this pantheon, etc.

              https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahwism

              ‘The Satan’ was basically a kind of minor, subordinate god within an originally large pantheon of Canaanite deities, he did not really become associated with some kind of nearly equally powerful evil opposition to Yahweh until after many of the Judahites were held in captivity in Babylonia, and exposed to the Zoroastrian idea of one great good deity and another great evil deity by Cyrus the Great and the Persians, who conquered Babylonia and allowed the Judahites to return to Judah.

              https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_to_Zion

              https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan

              Edit: That last bit is also why Cyrus is portrayed fairly positively and even directly praised by some Old Testament writings, compared to… basically every other foreign or occupying regent or emperor being portrayed quite negatively.

  • TallonMetroid@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I mean, kinda? Tooth decay got way worse when we started relying on sugar-rich grain for most of our calories after we developed agriculture.

    • RadicalEagle@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      No, see. Tooth decay, carnivorousness, and everything else were seen as neither good nor bad until Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and gained consciousness. Prior to that, everything was still absolute chaos, but without a knowledge of good and evil there was no way to make value judgements.

      Things are the same as they’ve always been. The only thing that has changed is your perception.

      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 months ago

        No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.

        why the fuck do you and another commenter have the same exact fucking start. Is the matrix breaking what the fuck is this shit

        • RadicalEagle@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I’m using the same structure as the original comment to make it easier to compare/contrast.

          The fact that it’s causing you mental unrest means you need to report to the main office for a Voight-Kampff test. The tortoise lays on its back, it’s belly baking in the hot sun trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

    • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      Or he brushed his teeth but continued to consume copious amounts of mountain dew and coke. Doesn’t matter how much you brush, tons of soft drinks will still destroy your enamel.

    • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com
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      3 months ago

      Meh, doing all the stuff you’re supposed to while being too poor to afford dental care will result in teeth eventually falling out anyway.

      I’ve made it like 7 years so far but being as autistic and thorough as possible about tooth cleaning still doesn’t hold it forever. If you could figure out post-apocalyptic/extra-societal molar fillings you could maybe make it last forever. Build a meth lab and use it to make high fluoride “prescription” toothpaste instead of meth while you’re at it.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    3 months ago

    The funny part is that if there were a god (there isn’t), he would absolutely be an asshole.

    • quixotic120@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      This assumes that if there was a god they are perfect and chose to make us with teeth that fail, bodies that get cancer, anger issues and mental health problems, etc

      While that could be the case it could also be the case that if there was a god said god could just be a much higher level lifeform that could create galaxies and life and shit, but still was maybe not all that good at it. Like look at humanity. We can do crazy shit, we can make computers that do incomprehensible things to humans that existed as little as 50 years ago. But those computers still fucking suck and crash all the time, blue screen, lose data, etc.

      Maybe there was a god that made humanity but he just wasn’t very good at it and as a result we now have cancer and war. and maybe they’re up there like “oh they’re deifying me, that’s super awkward bc it’s totally my fault their first child died of leukemia at 7 years old”. Or maybe they did all that and now they’re dead too because they’re not actually a god but just a higher lifeform and were deifying a loser that would’ve gotten a c on their biology homework

      but there’s probably not one

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        3 months ago

        An interesting argument. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone seriously put this forward, only George Carlin (who was perhaps serious but not presenting it seriously).

      • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip
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        3 months ago

        I mean that kinda makes sense no? If I was convinced god existed, is all powerful and all seeing but also a total dick I’d be very faithful to the creed lol. Dont want to make him pull some petty vindictive crap with me like sending a plague or so

        • Flax@feddit.uk
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          3 months ago

          The thing I find funny about Atheists is when they’re like “uh why doesn’t God stop evil??” And then you complain when He actually does something about it

    • ggppjj@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      You know what it is?

      The “infinite growth” wire was incorrectly attached to the “various cells” port instead of “teeth”.

      Classic mistake.