• FlowVoid@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I talked to someone in finance, and the first thing they said is that nothing has guaranteed returns.

    • BOMBS@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid.

      Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns.

      FlowVoid: Oh…uh, ok.

      Person in finance: I’m in finance.

      • FlowVoid@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Close! But here’s what actually happened…

        FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid, your 1:30 pm appointment. I’m here for some guaranteed returns, here’s $3.50, now set me up finance bro.

        Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns. Also get out.

        • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          You can get a guaranteed return in many ways.

          • US Treasury bonds: if the US government fails you’ll have bigger problems than money. You don’t need to worry about that scenario. You’ll win the lottery first.
          • Pay off a loan: by paying off your principal early you can guarantee that you pay less interest in the future.
          • Buy something that saves you money: if you like cooking, an herb garden will save you a lot of money. If you like sweets, baking equipment will do the same.
            • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Savings are better than returns because they are legally tax free. A penny saved is worth more than a penny earned.