• BOMBS@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid.

    Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns.

    FlowVoid: Oh…uh, ok.

    Person in finance: I’m in finance.

    • FlowVoid@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Close! But here’s what actually happened…

      FlowVoid: Hi, I’m FlowVoid, your 1:30 pm appointment. I’m here for some guaranteed returns, here’s $3.50, now set me up finance bro.

      Person in finance: Nothing has guaranteed returns. Also get out.

      • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        You can get a guaranteed return in many ways.

        • US Treasury bonds: if the US government fails you’ll have bigger problems than money. You don’t need to worry about that scenario. You’ll win the lottery first.
        • Pay off a loan: by paying off your principal early you can guarantee that you pay less interest in the future.
        • Buy something that saves you money: if you like cooking, an herb garden will save you a lot of money. If you like sweets, baking equipment will do the same.
          • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Savings are better than returns because they are legally tax free. A penny saved is worth more than a penny earned.