I have two cars, but I actually hate cars.
I chose to have a house in the mountains, but I hate snow.
I work out hard and have abs that I show off, but people who show off their abs annoy me.
I’m a writer and make income doing it in addition to my retirement pension, but writers annoy me and I never tell my friends that I’m a writer.
I also paint and have had my stuff in some galleries, but artists annoy me and I never tell any of my friends that I paint.
I’ve chosen all those things. Not by necessity, but just choice. Can you be a contrarian to your own views or does that definition have to involve opposing someone else’s views just to troll?
Absolutely. I have a SUV and I fucking hate it. It takes too much space and is terrible for the environment.
But our other car died at the peak of used market during COVID and my sister offered us a deal (4000$ under market price, making it a lot better than beat ups in the market).
I work for companies I don’t align with, otherwise I wouldn’t be working much.
We make due with the circumstances and we navigate the best we can even if that means going against our values, because the alternative is worse
The word that you’re avoiding here - and please don’t take this as a criticism; I have zero opinions about you or whether this word applies to you based on your post - but there is a word that very exactly denotes what you’re describing, which is “hypocrisy”.
“duality” and “cognitive dissonance” could also fit
which is “hypocrisy”.
Fair point, but I thought “hypocrisy,” in the way it’s commonly used today, is when someone says one thing but does another, usually to deliberately mislead people about their true self. It’s like putting up a facade to hide their real intentions or beliefs in order to manipulate other people.
See I actually don’t give a shit if people like or care or dislike that I have 2 cars. I actually want to sell them, but then I don’t because I like having two cars. But I also have days where I don’t want any cars. lol
So my personal belive is it’s just being wishy-washy and lazy. I think hypocrisy is a strong word, but I appreciate your input and the conversation. So thank you for that!
and have abs that I show off, but people who show off their abs annoy me.
That is like pure hypocrisy.
Having a house in the mountains but hating snowing isn’t 100% hypocritical. It’s not snowy year round). Having two cars but hating cars isn’t explicitly hypocritical. Sometimes you need a second car (1 eficent sedan vs a truck)
That is like pure hypocrisy.
How so? And when I say “show off” I mean, happy to show off to my gf and and all the time to annoy her in a funny way. I don’t walk around raising my shirt at random times in the store. I should have clarified.
I have two cars, but I actually hate cars.
I have two cars, I love cars, but I’d love to see an end to our car dependent society.
I have a car, because I need it for going to distant places. I would love to live in a society where you don’t need to burn fossil fuels for anything, but we aren’t there yet. I prefer to think of the current solution as a “compromise”.
Right? I’d LOVE to have a transport system where we all just took trains or e-bikes and the infrastructure supported that. I see people in anti-car communities who make a concentrated effort to go carless. I want to be like that. Buuuut I know I wouldn’t be that dedicated! lol
Zero self awareness. This post is not actually about what it claims.
Hmmm, interesting. Well this is a casual conversation community, so I’m interested in what you have to say. Care to explain why you think that this post isn’t actually about what it claims to be?
A contrarian, at least in the general, interpersonal social context, is someone who simply defaults toward taking the opposite viewpoint of whatever they believe is the most popular or most widely accepted.
Oh you like blue?
Well I like red!
Oh you like chocolate?
Well I like vanilla!
It can also mean that you don’t always do this as a kneejerk reaction or instinct regardless of the situation or topic or idea, but that have a single, or number of views which go against the broad consensus of some kind of academic or profeasional field.
You are not describing contrarianism.
You are describing hypocrisy and duplicity.
You have sets of standards or preferences which you apply to everyone other than yourself, you have preformed negative judgements (stereotypes) about people who fall into the same categories you do, you own possessions which you state you own entirely by choice and not out of necessity, yet you despise these possesions.
Hypocrisy.
You hide your own activites from others so that others cannot easily call you out as a hypocrite.
Duplicity.
If you are trolling anyone, you are trolling yourself.
EDIT: Possibly a more charitable interpretation for at least some of this is that you are very anti-social and simply don’t enjoy talking to people, and that could stem from trauma. Nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be left alone and not interact with people.
But if you truly do not actually need two cars, you truly could just move somewhere it doesn’t snow so often, I don’t see why you don’t just do that, move somewhere else, sell either or both of your cars.
Interesting viewpoints. Thanks. Actually I’m not anti-social. I have a full social life. I lean toward duplicity because I still can’t get on board with the hypocrisy term since it’s such a loaded word.
And as for the cars, no I def do not need two cars. And my house is paid for, and I have lived here for a long time. I’m hoping global warming starts making warmer winters here!
But to your points, yes, I can sell those and my house. But that was the point fo my post. I choose not to do those things then get annoyed about it. I was wonder if anyone else was the same way. Um, looks like I may be in rare company tho! lol
Thank you for your input. Super interesting!
I choose not to do those things then get annoyed about it.
… Then you are either procrastinating, at best, or simply perpetuating situations that allow you to be annoyed purely for the sake of preferring to be constantly annoyed, at worst.
Here let me try something, and this isn’t hypothetical, this is completely serious:
I used to have a career as a data analyst and database administrator.
Two years ago I was assaulted and held hostage in my own apartment for a week, starved and beaten.
I survived, but came out of it absurdly injured, couldn’t work, ended up evicted, homeless, car got stolen, I would have died if I didn’t manage to qualify for SSDI.
I’ve just been doing my own Physical Therapy for a bit more than a year now, due to being too poor to afford professional PT, and besides, I’d have to walk, on my crippled legs, to get to the PT, as I have no car, and there is very poor bus service where I eventually ended up, a literal roach motel that I can just barely qualify to rent with my SSDI payment.
Would you give me one of your cars?
Or would you rather continue to be annoyed by its uneccessary existence?
Dude, you just made me shook. This may be one of the most powerful responses I have seen on the interwebs.
First, I am sorry that happened to you. That’s fucking horrible and it’s made me realize that I truly have nothing with bitching about. You actually have real issue. I just bitch and moan.
And no, I can’t give you a car. I’m sorry. I can’t come to terms with getting rid of them for whatever reason.
But also, both are over 10 years old, so they aren’t anything awesome.
I’m truly sorry for your loss.
DM me. I would like to help another way though.
Well firstly, I appreciate your sympathy, truly.
Secondly… I kind of feel bad for springing that on you, as seriously contemplating a summary of what I’ve been through does seem to be genuinely shocking and perhaps even traumatizing to many people…
… but at the same time, it is what I’ve survived, it does provide an explanation of my … rather curt and extremely forward, no bullshit/no filter assessment, and it does seem to have prompted a perspective shift in yourself.
Which leads me to: If you really do want to help me in another way, but you really can’t part with your particular cars…
Then it isn’t just a trivial choice or lack thereof that prevents you from parting with them. You say they are over 10 years old, maybe you’re proud they’re still in decent running order, you’re sentimental about them in some way, proud of them in a …reliable, but graying mare that’s still got a few years left in her kind of way.
They’re valuable to you in a way more serious than at least I initially gathered from what you wrote.
I hadn’t seen the other comments you’d written in this thread until now, it seems that at bare minimum, at least some kind of car is an actual necessity and not a choice, that you don’t actually hate your snowy home that much, that you are actually particularly attached to your specific cars.
So after saying all of that, I apologize for being too harsh… I could have been more inquisitive and less accusatory. I took your main post extremely literally… I should have been more charitable.
Spending a good while on the street has left me suspicious and critical… probably doesn’t help that that is on top of myself being a hyperliteral Autist.
As for dming you, give me a bit of time. I use Thunder on a shit tier gas station phone to interact with lemmy, and it doesn’t seem to really … do DMs properly.
Lemme aee if Voyager or Jerboa or something else actually does DMs correctly.
No worries, mate. I’m never gonna rag on someone for being honest. I appreciate your bluntness. All good!
Cognitive dissonance may be something you want to read about OP
Thanks! I’ll look into it!
Sounds like a case of exceptionalism to me. Your own rules don’t apply to you because you’re special.
I can roll with that. Thanks!
Maybe you just don’t like yourself very much.
Oh I actually like myself. And I like my life. I realize I’m lucky to have what I have and do what I do. But I change my mind a lot, and it’s kind of annoying.
I have dated people who don’t like themselves. Trust me, that’s a whole other thing.
I’m a selfish prick, so I probably like myself too much!
But I appreciate you giving me your opinion. Thanks!
I judge people who always talk about hobby projects but rarely or never even start on them. I hate that about myself as well!
I’m pretty sure that’s called ambivalence and core to every human. Or you’re just miserable, that’s hard to tell.
Must be ambivalence then, because I’m not miserable at all. I’m having a great time. Thank you!@
Would it necessarily be you being a contrarian to your own views if there was a reasoning for it? For example, I have a friend who has had a job as a chef yet ethically will tell you food should be eaten for nutrition and never for pleasure. Many who are thrown off by this ask why, and he says it’s because sometimes “food fancification” can serve as a gateway to what is important if used methodologically. When we first became friends, he knew I often did what amounted to stress-starving, and he would imply opposition to this and try to “sway” me with the best food I’ve ever had. So there’s always such nuance.
Another friend of mine, my other best friend, has been a door-to-door officer, and yet probably will never pass a physical exam. Was it based on a shortage of applicants? Does she have some kind of unsung skill? Who knows, but in a city where the ACAB philosophy is said to persist, many have noticed people on parole aren’t nearly as at unease around her due to her “meekness” (which might not always be a good thing, but whatever), so she is a favorite pick. The two best friends also go spelunking in their spare time, despite, again, one being “meek” and both lacking certain expected traits, and they are probably five miles below my feet right now.
I am in what many have called a similar situation. I’ve always been stereotyped in peoples’ minds as being susceptible to stage fright, so along comes my teen-ish years when I got my occupation and it amounts to working at a media company. It throws people off for some reason, at least until they realize the avoidable circumstances don’t have to apply in every instance of someone being in that work. You make do with what you can.
Many times, what one might call a conflict of interest or a double standard or whatever you want to call it doesn’t exist.
All great, interesting points. Thank you for that!
You’re welcome <3
This might be the most up it’s own ass post(er) I’ve ever seen on Lemmy, congrats!
Awww, thank you. Good to know that I’m #1 at something! This is awesome!!!
I may have to put your quote in my profile banner pic.
Thanks, amiko!
Late stage capitalism sucks, yet I have a corporate middle management job and I drink Coke and I drive a Toyota and I’m surfing Lemmy on a Google device. I don’t think I’m trolling. And I don’t know if it’s even that contrarian. “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism”; unless I am ready to die, I have to participate in the system.
I don’t think I’m trolling.
Thanks for saying that. I get a LOT of people who follow me on Lemmy and call me a troll. As in, there was a thread started last week to try to ban me from the entire fediverse (which of course didn’t work).
But I’m not a troll, I just have lots of different varying and seemingly opposing viewpoints. It’s not done “to spite others,” it’s done “in spite of others.”
That’s why I think you and I are different than trolls and/or hypocrites.
So maybe contrarian isn’t the right word, but I don’t know what else I would call it. But I don’t have seemingly opposing views to piss people off. It’s just how I am.
My hate-fanclub peeps worked on this just last week. Notice the 318 upvotes to get rid of me:
I said I’m not trolling.
I would rather not associate myself too closely with someone who self-reportedly has to have multiple accounts to keep ahead of the criticism. I don’t know you nor what your views are that make you so irritating to other Lemmy users.
I said I’m not trolling.
And I’m not trolling either, which I also said. I was agreeing you.
Trolling is doing something to purposely annoy. It’s intent. Just because someone calls one a troll, doesn’t mean they are a troll.
I post a lot. And it’s one of the factors that people use when calling me a troll. But I’m not a troll, nor do I have any intention of being one. That was my point.
And just because I agree with you doesn’t mean you re suddenly “associated” with me. I promise your reputation won’t be tarnished just because you and I agreed on something.
Thanks!
When you post that much on a small, not-very-popular-yet site, people are going to get tired of seeing you. I’m pretty sure I’ve blocked you at least once just because you were the ONLY content I was seeing on my front page. Why would I or anyone else come to a place like this and be ok with only seeing content from one user, or the same meme over and over with slightly varying formats?
Well like you said, I’m easy to block.
But I’ve never sent memes.
If I was the only content you were seeing, it’s because no one is posting. I’m doing my part by posting content to the site. Feel free to post yours as well.
Thank you!
How can you be a troll when you joined today?
Oh, I’ve been around. I had to diversify and spread out my name. I’m transparent and use same username across instances beause it’s not about ban evasion.
You can count on me not to fall into that category of people. You can even talk to me anytime you want with no anxiety attached.
Wow, that’s very thoughtful!
And the same invitation goes out to you as well. Please feel free to DM me anytime about anything.
I don’t have a discord, but I should make one. Until then, DM me here (or if I get banned from this instance) from any of my other instances. I use the same username for them.
I’m on the lemm.ee instance as well.
Have you ever speculated as to why you get banned so often?
