My experience on this platform has been mixed so far but one thing I’ve noticed the most is a significant contingent of the user base is really reactionary in their discourse.
This is a very typical exchange I have here :
User: I don’t like this color because it’s red.
Me: I don’t know, looks more like purple to me. What about red is bad?
User: Why don’t you fuck yourself in the face you fucking cuntfuck!
Me: OK…
Like, what gives? I don’t have this experience on other platforms. I have arguments but never this shutdown meccanism.
I wasn’t sure what you meant, so I decided to check your profile and see if I could find some examples you responded to… And I learned a lot about you in the process. You sent a single person a lot of “why are you angry” comments. You get into a LOT of arguments on politics subreddits, and even defended Kyle Rittenhouse. You noted that you need to tell people you’re left wing, because the things you say convince them you’re not.
At a certain point, the reason why so see so many angry people might be that you’re the one pissing them off. Or at the very least, you’re seeking them out.
“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”
I could be an asshole. I won’t debate that. Maybe I am.
My point isn’t to claim I’m not an asshole. My point is compared to other spaces the vitriol and anger here seems ramped to 100.
I think what you’re experiencing is people here being less tolerant of your assholery.
I’m Ok with that. It seems to come up in benign comments too. Thats why I was curious. I’ll own the asshole position and declare myself a loser. I’m not offended by that.
I wasn’t necessarily calling you an asshole, it’s just a quote that represents what the other commenter was talking about.
To answer your initial question, I haven’t personally noticed Lemmy being more toxic than other platforms like it. Most conversations I’ve had have been pleasant. But I tend to avoid commenting on hot button topics. You commented on a topic that people feel strongly about and got angry comment replies. I wouldn’t say that necessarily represents the site as a whole. But both of our experiences are anecdotal so it’s difficult to say which is more common.
I think you’re right. Hot button topics are just to be avoided I guess or fare repercussion.
How can we avoid being captured by epistemic bubbles though? That’s the part that scares me.
I don’t disagree. I did do that. I also did get into a few arguments, it my statements were pretty benign. I never once insulted anyone. I welcome everyone to look at my interactions with yeet (and others). Is the response proportional? You decide.
We did, and we told you what was up.
🤷♂️
Yes, terrible to “attack” the poor guy like that. He’s just concerned for the level of the discourse, poor thing.
If you take antagonistic positions and argue with folks you’re going to get responses like that. You probably have anywhere from 50 to 1500 people read that response and the chances of your words being the straw that broke any one of their backs is fairly decent.
We all have bad days. I block a fair number of people on here for being antagonistic pricks - even if they do so couched under the veil of reasonableness - because that isn’t why I come here. But other people choose violence. And I can understand.
Good point. Thanks.
While this is undeniably good advice, it doesn’t address the core issue IMO.
Yes, Lemmy users are unusually hard to deal with. It’s roughly equivalent to Discord in terms of angry userbase, maybe a bit worse - even Reddit seems pretty level headed in comparison.
That’s very strange. I’ve been here a year now, and have noticed that it’s MUCH friendlier than Reddit.
I see that others have creeped your profile, and made suggestions about not antagonizing others. I’m going to take their word and recommend you take their advice instead of arguing about how everyone else is so argumentative.
Thanks.
The issue is I am argumentative. I like having disagreents and most of all I like hearing different points of view. If this sounds like a vanilla take, it’s because it is.
If I disagree with people on fb or insta or ask to verify the facts of an event there I will get push back or I will learn something new. I will also hear some combative words. Nothing strange.
If I ask about the facts of the matter here:
-
“blocked”
-
“troll”
-
“fuck you you cuntfuck defender of Kyle Rittenhouse. Eat dick.”
-
“I have you labeled as conservative cuck”
On. And on. And on. But it’s OK, because apparently asking for facts is justification to garner this, right?
What gives?
-
An offline friend and I have this hypothesis that usually, the further left or the further right one becomes, the more closed minded and reactionary they become when presented with an opposing idea.
It’s difficult to live in the grey and to keep an open mind. I think this has become so much harder in the era of social media.
That said, there are absolutely some core beliefs of mine that I would be highly resistant to ever budge on, so maybe you’re encountering some of those folks on theirs.
Shrug it off. Keep going. Be you.
https://kbin.run/m/politics@lemmy.world/t/602314/Kyle-Rittenhouse-criticized-Donald-Trump-So-conservatives-said-he-s-transgender (ctrl-f the name)
This you? Specifically: this you, arguing in a way that instantly, grossly obviously outs you as a troll. Not only the intensely weird way you’re defending a murderer, but the intensely weird ways you’re going about it. I’d elaborate, but don’t feel like educating trolls.
So there’s the answer to your " genuine " question. Of course, you remain free to ignore this terrible unprovoked attack from my side and pretend I’m quivering with rage, if that makes you feel better. :)
So. If I understand correctly, talking about charged topics is an automatic invitation for extreme vitriolic language?
Also, the same accusation always is levied: if I ask question I must be defending Kyle even. Though. I’ve mentioned a million times I think he’s a pos.
So what is it?
I don’t experience this elsewhere.
Crickets. B
This. This right here.
Amio shared their thoughts and their intention to end the conversation. You replied. They didn’t. You reply to yourself 3 hours later with the equivalent of “Told you so! I win!”
It’s arrogant and entitled. Nobody owes you conversation. In my book, that’s one strike towards getting blocked.
I don’t want a win. I swear to God. I just want to understand where all this seething anger is coming from. There is no winning here. I know I’m a loser already.
Well, I don’t know if you’re a loser or not, but are you closer to understanding now than you were when you asked the question?
Not really. The person came in and went straight to calling me a troll and weird. Then disappeared. And then when I questioned them you came in and said I’m an asshole for daring to push back.
Like, hostility all around.
Like you offer that individual all the charitability they could get. But me? Fuck me I guess.
Alright. You got me!
For a moment there, you actually had me thinking that you wanted to know why you see so much hostility.
We’ve spent two days pointing out various examples of you acting like an obnoxious asshole, so you can learn from that and communicate in a way that doesn’t involve hostility from others. The intent is so you can learn and think “Oh, now that you point it out, I see how that could come across!” But no. You keep arguing with people and whining about how we’re being so mean. I’m done with you. And I hope your future conversations bring you the reactions they deserve. Strike 3. Blocked.
I think a lot of it has to do with an* impending sense of anomie. Something someone said to me once that I’d have done well to heed earlier: Don’t take what people say personally, especially if they mean it personally. The idea being it’s probably more about themselves than you.
I think it’s spelled “anime”
Only if it comes from the Anime region in Japan else it is just sparkling animation
Lets not do that stupid reddit chain comment thing here
are you on *.ml?
that’s their whole game.
block .ml and most of the people deliberately picking fights should up and vanish.
i say that as very rarely experiencing what you’re describing, especially compared to other social media platforms
I would say the majority of mine have been fine and even some i thought might go off the rails had a nice back and forth where I even learned a bit. I mean I have encountered reactionary and mean stuff but does not seem super often to me. kbin meltdown sorta messed up my account thoush so I have not really got my feed going in mbin.
That’s good! Gives me hope. Thanks!
There do seem to be a small number of people here who have no middle gears, don’t there?
Self selection I assume. You need a certain mindset to go the long mile of actively being on lemmy, and that mostly overlaps with an hypercritical attitude.
Or maybe that’s just me.
I think some people use the internet to vent after a long day at work. I’ve dinner it at times and have had to stop myself from forming an unhealthy habit
Challenge them and they mostly back down and come to their senses. Failing that, block them. They’re so sad it’s not worth your time. I imagine they live very lonely lives arguing on the internet with strangers.
Because people are mainlining propaganda en masse and it’s rotting their brains. Maybe fediverse users are more abrasive idk, but the adversarial tone in online discourse nowadays is hardly unique to the platform.
The trolls get what they deserve. Not trolling, huh? Yeah, that’s what they all say.
Everyone we don’t like is a troll. You’re a troll. Here you go. Is that better?
You will need to block a bunch of people when you first join, or move to an instance that has already done that for you.
… or use a platform that automatically hides comments that get lots of downvotes. I looked in your posting history - the comments you remarked about being angry didn’t even show up for me.
… and filter out US politics & Israel politics. You’ll need an app/platform that lets you define filters, tho.
Your filter may have hidden the fact that he posts a LOT on politics, political memes, and world news, and often gets extremely downvoted for what he says.
I have nothing against down votes.
You’re doing it here too sort of. Your attacking me for asking this question.
I have discussions on politics on other platforms and there is a substantial difference. That’s the crux of my question. Why?
You’re doing it here too sort of. You’re attacking me for asking this question.
This is a weird response. I read the one above you that this was a reply to and no where were they “attacking” you. Maybe this is part of the problem is language? That word “attacking” is a pretty strong word considering what was actually said above which came across to me as an observation based on how they’ve seen you in threads.
This isn’t me “attacking” you either. It’s an observation from someone randomly coming across this.
It was intended for the other user, sorry.
If you want to know why this platform reacts differently, it’s because it’s smaller, so you get noticed more easily. When you act calm and composed and “just ask questions” about why a mass murderer is called a mass murderer, people are more likely to notice.
If a summary of your actions sounds like an attack, that’s a problem.
So. If I understand correctly, talking about charged topics is an automatic invitation for extreme vitriolic language? I don’t experience this elsewhere (if, fb) . It should be more vitriolic on fb than here… Not the other way around no?
It kind of is. When someone has an extreme emotional reaction, you should look at what they’re reacting to before calling it unreasonable. Any defence of a mass murderer, no matter how civil it pretends to be, warrants an extreme backlash.
Like I said, Lemmy is smaller. People don’t notice you on fb, but they notice you here.
Just how many times are you going to ignore your own role in your conversations? You are the common thread among everyone who dislikes you.
But my point isn’t that people don’t disagree with me. I want to find disagreement because I don’t want to live in an echo chamber. I want to discuss ideas. Mi point is that the vitriol here seems stronger than other places. That’s all.
Were you even responding to me? Because you disagreed with a point I didn’t make and raised a point in response to my answer of that point.
Don’t disagree for the sake of disagreement. The devil doesn’t need an advocate.
There are people who is always angry about everything, not just in Lemmy but in everyday life also. Just keep you mouth shut and observe. Don’t take them so serious.
