There’s this rising narrative going around that if you ask specifically for a CIS partner, you’re a transphobe. That could be true for some people but it’s not fundamentally related to bigotry. Moreover, this narrative, the “if you only want a CIS mate then that is prejudice” is trampling on one of the most important rights a person can have: the right to choose who they want to get intimate with.
First of all, transmen are in fact men and transwomen are in fact women. Let’s get that out of the way. This isn’t a foot in the door for “trans this really isn’t that” narratives. What this is about it is the freedom to choose who you want to be intimate with. That right is sancrosanct, it is absolutely inviolable.
And yes, there’s plenty of issues that make transgender dating a special issue. If someone reveals their TG status they can be open to hate crimes and even deadly violence. However all marginalized groups are special in their own way. As a black man I don’t think it’s racist if a woman says she doesn’t want to date a black man. I face oppression, too. My class is special in its own way. One group isn’t more special than the other. None of us have the right to force ourselves upon those who don’t want to be intimate with us, even by omitting who we really are.
Really, if you have to deceive or hide who you are in order to date someone, do you really want to date them? I wouldn’t. That’s not fair to you and you’re denying them their right to choose who they want. What do you think will happen when the person wants a CIS mate and they discover the truth? They’re going to get pissed and dump you. Now you have to shame them into staying with you: “If you loved me for real this wouldn’t bother you”… that’s not going to convince anyone. They’re either going to leave, or they’ll resent you forever. That’s just how it is. You can be mad at that but that’s about as effective as protesting the rising of the sun. There’s just no way to win once you’ve gone down that road.
“I want a CIS mate” is not the same as “trans women are not women” - one is a preference, the other is harmful prejudice. On the flip side CIS people who do date trans people shouldn’t be shamed for their choices either. A man should be free to date a trans woman and not catch flak about it. Trans people should be able to be openly trans and not face hate speech or threats to their well-being. This, without any exception whatsoever.
The fundamental fact is when you shame or worse abrogate people’s right to choose who they want to get intimate with, it’s not going to end well for you. All you’re going to get is people who resent being coerced or bullied to date people they don’t want to. And that’s not something the country, or the world, will ever put up with. Except that right now, most people don’t imagine they can be labeled a transphobe just for wanting a CIS mate. And unpopular opinion: that should be nipped in the bud.
I’m genderfluid and I agree with you. Cis people shouldn’t be tricked, manipulated or emotionally blackmailed into copulating with us just because we want a partner. Partners do have the right to know whether we’re cis, trans or nonbinary.
How the hell does this have so many downvotes? Surely not from the crowd that preaches consent and freedom of choice?
Nah I’m guessing because it’s a popular opinion
Cause its kinda shallow and why should it be the trans persons problem, not them who cares. Like we could also mandate everyone’s birthday has to be put cause ‘I dont want to date a capricorn’
It just follows the type of idea that its the trans persons ‘problem’
But yeah still why the down votes dont we upvote unpopular opnions
Bc OP reduced someone down to their anatomy. Literally perfect woman and exactly their type is right in front of them. Cute face, slim waist with a big behind… but the only reason you don’t want to date them is bc of their anatomy? That’s the part where it moves across the line.
You have reduced this person down to what’s in their pants and not who they are, their personality, their hobbies, etc… you have reduced them to a feature of their body.
Imagine if someone said I don’t want to date someone with a cleft lip bc if we have kids that could be passed down through genetics.
It’s the same thing here.
Well except you cant have a biological kid to pass down any traits with your selected partner so it’s not the same.
Science has came a long way this hasn’t been true for decades. Just gotta be fine with a surrogate carrying the baby and/or have the $$$
A surrogate literally means they don’t have half the genetic material from one of the partners though and would still rely on a donated egg or sperm. If you want to have a child that is a mix of both partners that is still impossible. And people don’t have the money to drop of they just want a spouse to have kids with.
I’m just saying if someone wanted to do things naturally or with love of their partner, it’s impossible. And thus a reason to have restrictions.
I’m a transwoman and I agree with you on this. When I was dating, I was upfront and when a guy said it was a deal breaker, it saved both of us a lot of time.
Most guys I talked to said it was a dealbreaker, and yeah it sucks. It makes you feel “othered.” But I can’t expect anyone to go outside their sexual comfort zone for a rando on Tinder.
Most of the guys were very polite about it all, too. And that’s all you should need to do.
If someone’s shaming you about it, that’s a good sign they have something going on in their own life. Essentially it’s their problem, not yours.
Hope this helps~
Thank you for your response. I feel I must repeat in case it is ambiguous: I am absolutely against any form of trans shaming whatsoever. If you want to date a trans person, you should be 100% free to do so without negative social consequence.
Not ambiguous. You’re good 😜
Man I guess I’m a bigot, and I’m frustrated about it.
I get the phrase “transwomen are women” and respect that perspective.
But if I were seeking a cis woman partner who is seeking a cis man, it would be a dealbreaker if they were trans.
So I’m confronted with the reality that if I want to believe trans women are women, I shouldn’t be able to hold my second opinion, but it feels like one that can’t budge.
How to reconcile?
Are you attracted to every single woman that exists?
If not, then it is fine to not find certain groups of women not to your preferences without needing to define them as not women.
No, it’s not that I need to label anyone, but in the decision tree of selection, biological, born sexual features is right at the beginning. The character of those features is lower, obviously below personality and mental characteristics. But for example I’d like to have a child, so I need to seek out partners with whom that can possibly happen.
So it isn’t that I’m just like, grading people, it’s that some things are impossible or immoveable
Again this is just me, not attempting to impact anyone else’s path
As many of the other comments have pointed out, that’s not bigotry, as long as you respect their right to exist and aren’t looking down on them
It’s because you can’t change your sexuality. Being attracted only to CIS women is your sexuality.
That’s not how sexuality works.
Yes it is?
How to reconcile?
LOL you don’t. “Transwomen are women (except when I am choosing a mate, then I can be selective)”
Clarification: are you calling me out for inconsistency?
So I’m confronted with the reality that if I want to believe trans women are women, I shouldn’t be able to hold my second opinion, but it feels like one that can’t budge.
You called yourself out.
I’m not calling myself out, I’m exploring a personal facet.
I believe picking a mate is a 100% choice environment. I personally (as the subject of the example) am seeking a bio, cis woman.
The point of the thread is how to indicate your mate preference without being hurtful.
I dont think it’s bigoted to not seek a transgender mate, but am open to conversation on that. I can understand putting a “no trans” label on a profile can seem hurtful, even when the intention is anything but.
Your second statement (except for when I’m choosing a mate) seems reasonable. Is it not?
I’m not degrading trans women, I’m simply specifying the particulars of my search, which goes beyond “trans women are women”
I personally (as the subject of the example) am seeking a bio, cis woman.
Ah, so you’re saying “no trans”
I can understand putting a “no trans” label on a profile can seem hurtful
Yes, people will feel excluded by this
I’m not degrading trans women
Correct, you are just saying that they aren’t sexually attractive to you and you assign higher sexual market value to cis women and that you see trans women and cis women as different
And shouldn’t everyone individually assess their own "sexual market value"s, and be free to do so?
This is an “own” valuation, you aren’t valuing a whole group of people as “less than” you’re just valuing your own matches.
It’s not that I’m too good for any one in particular, just looking for certain varieties of humans to date
Oh boy do I have a load of dumb questions, if you’ll humor me? For context, I’m a middle-aged, cis, white guy. Dated a lot the last few years, settled down and just married the finest woman I’ve ever known.
What does “transwoman” mean? LOL, I don’t even know how to approach this. For me, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck, good enough. I’d date a transwoman that was, uh, “completely” a woman. Gods I hope you know what I mean.
OK, I’ll go with my wife, maybe clear it up. She’s a Filipina, unapologetically feminine. All else being the same, if she had been born with a penis, wouldn’t care. Among 100 other things, I so love her femininity.
Am I embarrassing myself? Sure feels like it. Never had any trans friends, or even known any trans folks. Anyhow, I hope you understand I’m on your side, all the way. (That’s not a cutesy slogan. I train, I carry, I mean it with all my heart. If it comes to it, no one is going on a train if I can help it.)
I understand the danger of revealing trans status. I also understand that it can be even more dangerous to be discovered as trans after a relationship develops with a partner who is violently transphobic. Back in the 80’s I was in the Navy. One of the guys on my ship was arrested for attempted murder. The woman he was dating didn’t reveal she was trans and he found out when they became intimate. He threw her off a second story balcony after beating her.
My question is why anyone would want to initiate a relationship with another person unless their prospective partner was accepting of them? I’d at least bring up the subject in an indirect manner to judge their response.
Same as any communication though I suppose, what if someone violently hates webkinz and their partner has a household of them?
Its never OK to throw them off a balcony for it, so reasonable precautions must be taken to vet webkinz haters for ones safety, but also it sucks those people exist - so let’s try and put the burden on those bad people, not the already struggling trans people who have enough on their plate (on average of course, every person is different)
(not implying you disagree with this, just wanted to make it more explicit ig)
Fuck I’m trans and I agree with you
on the flip side, people should be able to say they want a trans partner.
real talk though, no one should be deceiving anyone if they plan to start a healthy relationship with someone, period.
I’m stealth trans in public and don’t feel it’s necessary to come out to every one i meet or even work with. But if I’m flirting with someone or know someone has an interest in me, I respect them enough to let them know.
it all comes back to the idea that you don’t need to know what someone’s genitals look like unless you plan on fucking them.
I think I that’s a concept that cis straight people don’t get. You don’t come out once. You have a big coming out, once, to friends and family. Then every new person you meet, you decide whether to tell them outright, whether to subtly tell them, or whether you don’t tell them. Each time, you’re considering if you’ll meet them again, if it serves a purposes of it feels like hiding, your safety, whether it will affect their opinion of you and so be to your disadvantage etc. It’s tiring.
I have a pretty small sample size, but it feels like the next generation doesn’t feel that way. My 13-year-old daughter is queer and so are some of her friends and it doesn’t occur to them most of the time that her peers might judge them for it. We did have to take my daughter out of school for severe bullying- because they were calling her a furry (she committed the sin of wearing spiked collars) and spreading rumors that she was racist. She got nothing for being queer.
She’s doing an English project right now and she had to pick an event from history and talk about how it impacted today and I suggested Stonewall. She was pretty baffled about the whole thing. She understood conceptually that being queer was so hated and so dangerous in the 1960s, but she really had no idea.
I told her yesterday about how, even when I was in middle school in 1989-1991, there were no kids out of the closet. When I got to high school, there were a handful of very brave kids who were out and they got beaten up a lot. There was one trans girl and that was because she could pass and didn’t let most people know. Same-gendered couples were not allowed at prom. Even kids (and teachers who could get fired for it) who were undeniably queer hid it from everyone. Two people in my friend circle who were so gay they were on fire didn’t admit it until college. Both times, it was a “well, duh” moment when they came out, but that’s how scared they were to come out.
And, of course, if they did come out, they couldn’t get married if they found someone they loved.
She doesn’t know how bad it all was even when I was a kid and I’m so glad of that. I just hope Trump doesn’t turn it all around.
Is it not more tiring to come out to someone you’re more emotionally invested in, though?
There’s obviously the safety issues that the OP mentioned, but wouldn’t it be easier to not have to deal with an eventual reveal?
Why invest the time and energy into someone who has that much higher a chance that they’ll deny you when you come out?
Yes, but then you would have to come out to everyone first time.
Hi, here’s your coffee. Thanks, I’m trans.
Hi X, meet my friend Y. Hi Y, I’m gay, my name is X, nice to meet you. Umm, I’m not sure I needed to know that.
What about a work colleague that you can’t avoid but they are new and you don’t know how they will react.
That’s the point. The big coming out is for people you are emotionally invested in at that point in time. Then you have to make snap decisions and considered decisions for every new person forever.
on the flip side, people should be able to say they want a trans partner.
Yes, absolutely, I mentioned that part already. Freedom goes both ways. No one should be shamed for choosing to date a trans partner.
Chasers suck for trans people big time. This is a logical fallacy. It’s different if a trans person says they’re only doing T4T to a cis person.
Can you elaborate on this? Is it the usual fetishism (similar to what Asian women often experience) or is it different?
what Asian women often experience
You got me laughing and thinking at once.
Just married my Filipina. First Asian I ever dated. Didn’t seek Asian women, had zero expectations.
I know a lot of guys want a tiny, submissive, tradwife (fuck me I loathe that word). “Ew, gross! Not me, not EVER!”, I thought. Well… here we are.
She had me watching Filipina videos last month, to help me understand what Filipina women want, help me understand her culture. “Old white guys?! Hell fucking yes all day long!”, is what I got out of it.
“So what I gather is that I can go to the Philippines and trade you in on a hot 19-yo that will worship the ground I walk on?” 🤣
She’s said, straight up, that she always wanted a white American. She was also so she was afraid I was fetishizing her as an “exotic” Asian. Go figure. 🤷🏻♂️
It’s been a very strange, and lovely, experience. I’m trying to help her be more independent, show her that we’re equals, financially and emotionally. Sometimes it’s a challenge.
Yes, I can feed myself and wash my own clothes, back off a bit. But she feels like it’s her role to provide, and I’m taking from her by not taking from her. Fuck me, I’ve dated Mississippi girls that could strap on a ball gown, get their makeup game on, change their oil and shoot like Annie Oakly. This is all new to me.
Sorry. I don’t have anyone else to talk about this with and your comment got me thinking. And laughing at how strange life sometimes turns out.
I think your gut feeling is correct, you were in fact being fetishized by the videos that she showed you. I have known Asian women who get red in the face at the whole “I love white guys” thing. I know white men who cringe at other white men and their obsession with Asian women. Fetishization is coming from both sides.
Glad that you feel able to open up here. I hope you and anyone else who stays open and tolerant to new ideas will have a safe space here.
Is it always cringe/disrespectful when someone has something about them that I love more than other people love and I tell them that?
There’s a difference between having a preference/orientation and outright saying “no trans people” on your profile, imo. The former is totally fine and I think the vast majority of people think the same. If you did the latter, I would definitely remove that. It’s unnecessary and can make people feel shitty. Just swipe left on people you aren’t attracted to, and if you find a dealbreaker while talking to someone, politely disengage.
In general, I find it’s best to avoid putting any kind of negative thing in your bio. Both because you run the risk of making people feel bad for no reason, and because psychologically, you want people to associate you with positive things about you, not the things you dislike. Most people have a lot of dealbreakers that are far too numerous and exhausting to enumerate anyway. Just asses for yourself, and if you don’t like something about someone, move on.
Doesn’t it make people feel bad to talk to a large number of people only to have most of them disengage as soon as they find out you’re trans?
Yes, having something like “no trans people” in someone’s bio is also hurtful, no doubt. But perhaps hurtful interactions (either from seeing something in a bio or from having many disengagements from others) could be avoided by having it be something that can be put into a user’s filter settings?
A better solution might be to just state your preferred genitalia.
Sounds crass but a “strictly dickly” announces the preference without the inherent negative connotations of “no trans please”
Better, make the app do it on the backend
“I like DICK, don’t care from what” you tell the app and it matches you based on that as well
I agree, and I believe OP does too, but I read their post as “since we live in a world where trans people can’t 100% feel safe or want to post the fact that they are trans, and we end up dating and I later find out they are trans and I did not want this in a partner, now we’ve wasted everyone’s time when it could have been addressed from the get-go.” I believe OP is trying to discuss what the best way of putting this preference on your profile without straight up saying “no trans people”.
I have never run into this, honestly. I would assume if you are looking for a possible sexual relationship, that a person’s sexual preference matters. Not to say gender is not important, but sex also is in this instance. If you expect a dick and get a clit, that’s going to be a bit of a let-down, no matter how much you are romantically attracted to the person. I think it’s mature to have this conversation early in the relationship. More people need to understand that you can discuss this kind of stuff like adults and well, if you’re someone looking for a certain type of partner, there should not be shame attached to it.
I don’t trust the way this question is framed. Yes people have preferences but why do you have to ask other people how to talk to someone like a human being? We are human. You can just have a conversation with us.
I’ve had girls attracted to me even when knowing my trans status which other people started screaming about saying I must be a girl (I even have facial hair). So the idea that cis hets can’t EVER be attracted to us is a lie.
Basically I don’t trust anyone else’s opinion on this. We are people. This is not Build-A-Date. Learn to communicate like an adult. Not every trans person has the same set of equipment.
I think what they idea is- and I’m not saying I agree because I’m frankly undecided on this- even if you’re attracted to someone, that doesn’t mean you want a sexual relationship with them and since dating often leads to a sexual relationship, basic details where sex may be involved should be made clear up front on a dating site.
Again, I’m not saying I agree here. You could easily argue that it’s up to the couple to work that out before they get intimate.
You realize there are plenty of cis people that have fulfilling sexual relationships with trans people right? You realize that not every trans person fucks the same right? You realize we’re as diverse as everyone else right?
Even if a cis person matches your criteria for a partner, they may not want a sexual relationship with you because you don’t fit their criteria. Does that mean you tricked them and wasted their time by getting to know them like a normal person? Or would people only say that about trans people? 🤔
I said I didn’t agree twice. How many more times do I have to say it?
You keep framing being trans as a problem. It’s not. Sure people are happy living their lives BUT WHAT IF-
What if nothing. Move on and talk to someone else.
What part of ‘I don’t agree’ are you unclear on here?
Oh right I forgot you people like when we shut up because we don’t agree with you. Ah too bad then.
What are you even talking about?
That is a real good point. The “trick” or “deceive” thing assumes a certain intention that is not there.
Exactly and like if youre judging people just on their trans-status isnt a very human design, we get horny at random shit all the time so just do/fuck what makes you happy
(and like why should it be the issue of the trans person to bear the label, not the person who actually cares about it)
You don’t date trans women because you are a bigot.
I don’t date trans women because I have a menstruation fetish. We are not the same.
Disclaimer: this is a joke. I have been in a relationship with a trans woman.
did you two try doing menstruation rp
I have been in a relationship with a trans woman.
Was she hot? Did you have hot sex? Was there video? Answer the third question first.
The one thing that kind of disturbs me about trans relationships when I’ve called it out, is that trans men and trans women don’t feel the need to disclose that they’re trans to their partner, as if it’s not something important that the other person has a right to know.
Just to be clear, I have nothing against the trans community and I think it’s horrible that they’re being made into scapegoats and getting attacked by right-wing assholes, but at the same time, people have a right to know some things about their partners. I think trans folks have every right to transition into whatever makes them happy. If people are open for that relationship, more power to them, I am happy for you, BUT that’s still a choice that somebody should be allowed to make on their own whether they want to be in that relationship or not with full knowledge of what’s going on. To me, it’s borderline sexual assault if you’ve not disclosed that to a partner, since knowing the truth could potentially have changed their actions, though maybe it’s more something like “sexual fraud”.
The arguments I’ve gotten against this from some people just don’t hold up, things like, “Well you wouldn’t disclose every dental procedure you’ve had to a partner would you?” No, because nobody gives a shit about how many crowns you have when they’re trying to have sex with you, that’s irrelevant to the situation. Whereas, “this person biologically started as the opposite sex and they’ve made a transition”, is kind of a big deal for some people and could be a deal breaker. Whether you think that judgement is bigoted doesn’t matter, that’s a boundary that they’ve set for themselves and should still be respected. Them declining is probably helping you dodge a bullet, since them finding out after the fact is WAAAY more likely to go south pretty quick.
I don’t disagree with any of the content of what you said, but I’ve never met a trans person who defaulted to nondisclosure. And doing that is a very unsafe move for any trans person.
There is the typical “I’m gonna at least see if there’s some genuine interest here before I decide if it’s worth it to have this conversation,” but I’ve never met anyone who would forgo that up to and after sex. I don’t think this is common at all.
What is common is the stupid meme joke of “I went to fuck this chick and when she took off her clothes she had a DICK”. It doesn’t matter if it actually happens or not, cis people are often obsessed with being scared by the thought and it’s just pathetic honestly.
Nevermind that yes, given how close minded most cis people are, doing this would be as you say a very unsafe thing to do (both physically and emotionally) or that it doesn’t really make sense to just hope that a random cis person isn’t going to react negatively (especially because cis people just can’t stop telling and re-telling this kind of insecurity disguised as a joke). Also if you are having sex with someone you know so little about that this comes as a surprise to you… I kind of feel like maybe you shouldn’t be complaining about being surprised by details of a partner when you didn’t bother to find out anything important about them at all before you decided to have sex with them?? Sure having a penis or not doesn’t really define who you are in any meaningful sense (that isn’t imposed by society) but if you get to the point that you are going to be intimate with someone I just really am having a hard time fathoming why this wouldn’t have already come up?
Ok maybe the trans person really has fallen for you and is in denial about how close minded you are… but even in that case (which feels more like a hypothetical than an actual common scenario) acting like this is some nefarious or mean act is ridiculous. The cis person just has to see a dick for a brief second, it is no different than going to the gym locker room for fucks sake, for the trans person now they have to deal with the emotional intensity of being instantaneously and aggressively rejected by a partner they thought was in to them and unfortunately might physically be in danger from violence now. How does this make any sense at all? It is a waste of breathe to talk about this shit all it does is force the spotlight on feeling bad for how fragile cis men’s identities are given their insecurities while ignoring the very real physical and emotional violence enacted upon trans and queer people every single moment upon this earth.
The only other lame insecurity that disguises itself as a joke among cis people that can give this one a run for its money is cis-men’s fear of their own butt and what might happen if they realized it felt good to have something up there.
I define a partner and see relationships differently. A partner is not someone you just fuck. I’m not even gay but I’d rather be with a guy who wants me than a soulless shallow golddigger girl who pretends and manipulates me thinking she likes me. I’m too old for this crap. my heart matters a lot more than my balls
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…I’m pretty sure that no one except extreme I-don’t-know-what people are saying you can’t have anatomical preferences.
No one is going to say that I’m homophobic because I’m a cisgender heterosexual man that is only interested in dating cisgender heterosexual women. If I was going to be accused of homophobia, it would be for doing things that dehumanize gay people, like denying them basic rights afforded to straight people. (And, for the record, there are a lot of cis-het women that I would never date, even aside from the fact that I’m married.)
On the other hand, what is transphobic is the idea that transwomen are trying to “deceive” you. Maybe you could just, I dunno, try using your words? Talk about shit? Like, I don’t date people that are religious, “spiritual”, or takes astrology/tarot/etc. seriously; I am not going to have enough respect for someone that believes that nonsense to be in a relationship with them. If someone isn’t in-your-face about it, I’m not going to accuse them of trying to deceive and trap me when I find out; I’m just going to leave.
If this happens please let me know. I’ve never heard of a trans person saying they don’t tell their partners they’re trans.
Some people may not want to choose to disclose on the first date, depending on the other person’s personality. If there’s nothing there and no second date no harm no foul. If there’s a spark and a wish to take things further I’ve heard (read) many trans people saying they’ll wait until after the date to disclose they’re trans by text to be able to avoid a violent confrontation.
The climate is extremely hostile for trans people right now and people have to worry about their safety.
Who, exactly, is saying that having a sexual preference is bigoted? I’ve heard rumors about this argument, but never encountered it in the wild.
Admittedly it’s been a few years but I had this argument on Reddit and caught a ban from a handful of subs for hate speech for arguing that not wanting a trans partner was not the same thing as being anti trans.
I don’t remember my exact phrasing, I did then and still do believe that trans rights are human rights, that trans people are in real danger at no fault of their own, and that their healthcare is important and should start early. But that doesn’t mean I can be attracted to someone I know is trans, and I think that being trans should be divulged in a relationship, and divulged early.
That’s a viewpoint that some, and I use the term lightly, radical activists don’t want to hear, and will absolutely accuse you of transphobia. That doesn’t mean it’s common, or that the community at large agrees with it. But there are individuals who espouse that nonsense.
Reddit is full of two things. Bigots of every variety and bots. Don’t take social media of any sort as a reflection of reality, it’s not. So much of it is bots designed to create social division now. Then the bigots come out to reply to the bots.
Serious question - you said “But that doesn’t mean I can be attracted to someone I know is trans”
Why is this? Based on what you said wrote here you seemed to be able to be attracted to them before you know they are trans but the moment you find out that they are trans, you no longer are attracted to them.
If you reduce someone down to their features and say I can’t date you bc you have XYZ features, but you are perfect in every other way and just what I am looking for in a woman, but I can’t date you bc of that. How is reducing someone to something that is out of their control not phobic?
My other question is this - post op transwoman, would you still be attracted to her if you knew she had bottom surgery and no longer had a penis?
You are your features, my guy. If you weren’t no one could feel dysphoria.
Personally, I have encountered in an odd situation. Gay dating app, trans woman being friendly, so I was friendly back, but told her I wasn’t interested. She went ballistic, saying how I could live the dream, have a straight looking relationship, that surely a masc guy like me wanted that, and that I could still get dick with her, and when I told her that was not what I was looking for, at all, she went into the rant, calling me transphobic and saying that I was discriminating her.
I just blocked her and I will never be entirely sure if it was a troll or not.
That’s the reverse situation though, isn’t it? You treated her as a woman and said “no thanks, I’m gay” and she responded with “it’s ok, because I have a dick and am basically a man”. Didn’t she just transphobia herself?
The who in question is a man made of straw
Look at the apps, most these days will not permit you to exclude trans from your criteria
Literally nobody is saying this. OP is just doing a transpanic.
