Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y’all enjoy.

Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.

  • pewter@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I’ll do you one better and rank these instead.

    1. Lucky Penny
    2. Caffeinated shoes
    3. Fatigue masking mask
    4. Frying pan of flavor
    5. The cool glasses
    6. Underwear of febreze

    I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.

    Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn’t choose it. It’s also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.

    • Mesophar@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Nah, glasses need to be ranked much higher. Do you realize how powerful those are just in every day use? Always impress at job interviews or reviews for promotions/raises? Use in sales jobs or anything customer/client facing to always come out of it ahead? Not only being able to be effortlessly popular in all forms of relationships, but also always know the right things to say to help those people or help them feel better?

      “Social situations” is such a broad term that applies to so much of life, and being able to navigate them perfectly implies more than just schmoozing your way to the top. They’d help you do better and be better, basically everywhere.

      • lad@programming.dev
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        11 months ago

        With the glasses it’s all fun and games until you’re assassinated by someone you accidentally crossed without even knowing. Because assassination is not so much of a social situation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        • Mesophar@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I mean, that’s on you for abusing any power up. If you’re trying to rule the world, then sure you might run into some repercussions. If you’re just living your own life, knowing the best way to navigate any interaction with another person is powerful.

          Any of the items could be abused in a way that would make enemies, and some of them have other drawbacks on top of that.

    • skulblaka@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      Being generous, I’d say I could run maybe a half mile at full tilt before I collapse completely. +400% stamina would put me at two miles, and the shoes last “while stamina lasts.” Pretty strong, but not Flash OP.

    • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      That’s what I was thinking but Lucky Penny is weirded way too close to a monkey paw,

      And I think the shoes may make you run a long way tall fast but only as fast as you could already run? Because it’s only while afternoons lasts. Heck it might just insta gib you