there’s some days where she’ll want to talk to me, follow my accounts, say things to me, and then call me an annoying b*tch.

she’s nice in public, i’m assuming so others don’t think she’s mean, but what i mainly don’t understand is why she talks to me since she hates me so much and did nothing but harm me.

  • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    If abusers were mean 24/7, they wouldn’t have access to victims.

    Domestic violence research shows a “honeymoon” cycle. Abuse escalates to a breaking point, then the abusers relents, becomes especially kind and showy (especially in public.)

    It’s the “trauma bond” (not the false pop-psych understanding “we experienced something traumatic together and that brought us closer”) but that abusers manipulate that intensity of emotion to create a sort of “addiction.”

    You get used to the highs and the lows. Being hit and then the next day at a nice restaurant. The sexual abuse and the trips to Disneyland. It’s supposed to fuck with your head. It’s supposed to make it harder to leave.