Cracks_InTheWalls

Thank you for the cat tax, though I'm sorry to hear you got bit.

I completely understand re: campus being too far to be practical, but 100% recommend giving the library a shot. Given that it's coding, the whole 'use an organization's device rather than yours' thing is tricky (unless you can put everything you need on a remote/web-accessible IDE or something - I remember screwing around with something like this but as decidedly not-a-coder, it may not be practical). Still, the library has the whole other humans being around aspect going for it, with the benefit that said humans aren't going to go out of their way to distract or push you. Sometimes people just being there, but doing their own thing, is enough to help folks buckle down a bit. But it might not be, and that's ok - at least you'll know.

If all else fails, pay more attention to my first post and the others like it here than the second one. It's certainly worth trying for progress while waiting on meds, but if it's just not happening focus on well-being. I obviously don't know you well enough to offer more practical advice on trying to get the project done, but definitely think meds will help if your psychiatrist agrees.

Hang in there buddy.

No problem my friend. On the project side of things, a couple of thoughts. This is assuming it's a project for school, if it's not either see if any of this can be adapted to your situation, or otherwise discard it without any guilt.

0. 100%, do whatever is in your power to expedite things with your psychiatrist. Ignore my caveat above on this one.

1. If possible, do one thing a day that moves the needle a little bit. It can be tiny - like, write 2 sentences - but just something where you can say "I did something".

2. If you need to use a computer for some project tasks, go to campus (or a library) and use theirs. Sometimes being in an environment where folks are doing focused work (or at least pretending to) can help people stay on task a bit better. Turn off wifi and mobile connectivity on your phone, and keep it in your bag.

3. Set timers for doing project related tasks in increments - 20 minutes, 10 minutes, 5, whatever makes sense for you. Try your best to just do something project related for that increment. If the end product is you wrote a sentence, that is still something.

4. If you find you're lapsing into doom scrolling instead of project work, give yourself permission to stop ASAP and go do something else (see prior comment). If you're not going to be productive anyway, at least do so in a way that isn't causing you as much distress.

5. If you need to review sources, print them out over just viewing them online. Go through them with a pen and a highlighter and take physical notes.

6. [should probably be higher on the list] Set a meeting with your prof and be brutally honest about your situation. Let them know your struggles with the project, and what you are trying to do about it. See if an extension is an option at all. It may not end the way you want, but having that conversation is something you can control (if not the ultimate outcome).

7. Be gentle with yourself. You're in a hard spot, and you are trying your best while working to get the professional assistance you need. Maybe you do or are doing all of the above, and you don't feel like it's getting the results you need. That's OK. When you get the professional support you need, you can revisit. Prioritize your well-being.

I hope you find at least some of this useful.

Do yourself a favour: put the phone down. Stay away from your computer screen. Do literally anything else - some chores, a hobby, counting the number of people walking by your house, fill pages with drawings of squares, take several really long walks, find a pond and skip some rocks, whatever floats your boat. The point is not trying to accomplish anything, but to shift your attention. If something you've been putting off gets done, that's a nice side effect, but not the point - so don't worry too much about the result.

You have no control over the outcome of the U.S. election whatsoever. It is not worth your health to obsess over something that you can't control that fills you with negative feelings. So block it out - if anything, try to summon some gratitude that you have the option to do that (though it's ok if you find that hard to do).

I know this is much easier said than done. But you've got this. You'll be ok. I'm pulling for ya.

Honestly, now that I know Pee Pee island is in the mix, I'm sold on a trip to Newfoundland. Dildo was almost enough to make that happen as it was.

Edit: There's campsites at Dildo Run Provincial Park, btw. Do with that information what you will, people.

We got the Subproject 68 expansion set here.

Out of curosity, how was the weather in your end of the world? We had the same thing happen this year, but mostly because it was unseasonably warm.

Granted, it was also 'cause we had a fog machine this year, but the weather played a big part.

Huh. Can't help but wonder if this is connected to why a significant amount of people find asses sexually attractive across gender lines - something about signs of a good persistance hunter (likely quite overstated by base monkey brain), and therefore ability to provide for spawn.

Probably not, but makes ya think. I also accept that I'm thinking about it from a heteronormative, sex as biological imperative for spreading genes POV - so limited and overall probably wrong.

I wouldn't say it's bad so much as it's simplified and incomplete. Some of us cough develop defense mechanisms designed to keep other people away, and at one point it may have been for good reasons. Down the road, though, you find yourself keeping those defences when they no longer serve you, which isolates you from others.

For these folks, acknowledging that they're doing this, finding ways to safely lower their guard, and slowly exposing themselves to more people and experiences can help with that loneliness.

This is the kind of thing I get from this image. But this situation does not address all causes or types of loneliness, just one possible factor.

I have two spots on the other side of the country, that I haven't seen in almost twenty years, that still serve this function if trying to calm myself down. One is a waterfall in what was then a very lush patch of forest. Another is a quiet bay surrounded by pine trees.

If I'm having a rough time, more likely than not I'm slowing down my breathing and visualizing one of these places.

This is an excellent example to pull if you ever want to talk about memetic warfare as a concept.

Listening to a folk punk song that uses the word fuck to great effect on Spotify yesterday, wondering why the fuck the line 'If you fuck up I will still be your friend' reads 'If you f up'.

I just don't get it. Fuck is a valid, if vulgar, part of the common English lexicon. It serves a purpose.

Two choices:

1. Medical mask and sunglasses (preferably those boxy ones people wear over regular glasses). Few people question medical masks these days.
2. Embrace the lunacy, and wear whatever mask/facial covering you think is cool/funny. Life's short and a lot of people would do well to embrace harmless weirdness.