this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024

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Dating perks (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

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[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 46 points 2 months ago

If he's the one popping out calves then she made the right choice.

[–] dmention7@lemm.ee 40 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Came into the comments to read about petting baby cows. Left feeling icky. ☹️

Maybe its just cause I'm high, but baby cows are frickin adorable, and now I'm thinking about finding a rancher friend.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Only after they've been washed off. Or dry cleaned. Or whatever, IDK, I'm from Chicago.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

We dry clean them. Otherwise they shrink.

[–] Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 months ago

IDK, I'm from Chicago

So you're more familiar with the end stage of the process.

[–] mitchty@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 months ago

The moms lick them clean after birth, and if you’re expecting any animal to be clean I got bad news for ya.

Bonus fun fact the cows tend to eat the afterbirth as well. Source grew up on a farm/ranch, if you want gross learn about prolapse. Guess who had skinny arms as a teenager and got to help keep cows alive till the vet came and had two thumbs? This guy… not sure I should be proud of what I had to do but yeah cows is expensive.

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There's a dairy farm somewhat close to me that let's you pet the cows and watch them get milked. It's pretty cool.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d prefer it if the cows petted me and watched me get milked

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

There's conventions for that, you just need to bring your own costume.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I should have heeded your warning. I swear man, the people on this website can be some of the least fun people on the internet on a pretty regular basis.

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[–] braxy29@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

yeah, honestly f this thread. i went from smiling to wondering why i bothered to even look at lemmy today. ☹️

there's gotta be something nice to look at instead!

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Damn.

That farmer must have legs for days to have so many calves.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe you being busy with birthing 15 calves in the last 48 hours is the reason why dating a rancher is a hassle?

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago

If you can't handle a partner being largely busy for brief periods, that's a you problem.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Who wants to pet calves?

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Someone that doesn't know the mamma has her head down and is contemplating murdering their dumbass.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Friendly reminder that cows are one of the five most lethal mammals (mostly due to there being LOTs of cows, but meh)

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not in terms off K:D ratio

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sure, when you've got the societal and material advantage. Go 1v1 a cow out in a field and you might change your mind. Those things are up to 2,000 pounds of brick shithouse. You might not kill one if you hit it with your car.

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[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lots of assists though. Burgers will get ya eventually.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Also due to the fact that they weigh 3000 pounds and have feet as hard as a rock. Some of them even have pointy things coming out of their heads!

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are they the highland variant?

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

"heeland coo"

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I'll have you know that my calves are strong and muscular and the nicest feature on my body and everyone is welcome to pet them. You know you want to.

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Sorry, gotta lock it. The drama is intensifying.

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