If only I could tell you how much distress your shipment of “goods” has caused me! I dispatched messengers to you repeatedly about the state of my delivery, but you have not responded. My household is in disarray, and our workers are idle due to the absence of these phallic dingdongs shaped like … unusual objects.
Your representative, whom you sent to me, had the nerve to claim that they were “fine”! But I can assure you, Ea-nasir, that not one of them has been fit for use. The artisans in my workshop are all laughing at these absurd objects and have not been able to work on any serious projects due to the interruption. Even the guards who were supposed to keep an eye on them found the sight too amusing!
I implore you, Ea-nasir, to send a new shipment of proper ingots immediately! I want no more of these … er… “unique” items that have caused such embarrassment and ridicule for my household. My reputation depends on it.
If you are unable to remedy this situation, I will be forced to take my business elsewhere. You would not want that, now would you? The people of Ur would surely hear about your inability to deliver quality goods.
In the meantime, please instruct your representative to cease and desist from any further attempts at delivering these … unusual objects.
Is this a new and improved translation?
Saving this pasta for later