this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 216 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did not see the twist at the end coming

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I never figured they would hook up and live happily ever after.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Sometimes happily ever after comes from stopping hooking up. There is a lot of wisdom in these greentexts.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 99 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 78 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How is that your takeaway from this entertaining fabrication?

[–] B312@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You forgot to mention that the fabrication is gay

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How is it gay if he has wife and children?

[–] sidekickplayah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 2 months ago

That's the fake part. The gay part is: why is he lifting? Wanna look good for the men or some other gay shit?

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

He left her for another man (his spotter)

[–] HackerJoe@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

And also fake.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A fictional story about a husband/father being cruel to his family until they leave doesn't exactly seem like fun entertainment to me 😅

4chan's idea of a joke tends to involve some kind of suffering or cruelty, I don't really get the appeal. It shows up on my feed and I can't help but think "someone wants to read this sort of thing...?"

At least the one about the lady pissing herself and jumping in a canal or whatever was kinda silly and just a story about doing something dumb

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's creative writing with a subversion of expectations. You expect anon to be in a public gym with a random uncontrolled child, not at home with his own child. You side with him until the very end. The whiplash is the joke, not child cruelty.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, I understand that it's a subversion of what's expected, it's just also depressing

"The joke is that you thought it was just a weird interaction with strangers, but he's actually being shitty father and abusive husband!" doesn't really work for me 🤷🏻 I get why it's funny to other people, I just can't really relate, and so much of 4chan humor has that same shared thread of being an asshole, life being a bleak existence, or making up a strawman to attack a particular population. It's just kinda depressing to me :/

[–] mriormro@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

May I ask why you're on greentext? It's literally just 4chan screenshots and if you know that kind of humor doesn't sit well with you then it might be better to avoid it.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It's on the front page pretty often, as it seems like one of the larger communities

I'll probably end up blocking it as the other reply mentioned, but I don't usually like doing that. It's also a bummer cause occasionally something really lovely gets produced by 4chan, you just have to wade through a lot of bleakness before you find it, it would seem

I don't mean to disparage others their choice or preferences, just expressing I don't really understand them

Hope you have a good one :)

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

You would probably enjoy this community more.

!wholesomegreentext@sh.itjust.works

FWIW, I totally get the way you feel about greentexts in general. I think it's a very natural reaction, and those of us (myself included) who enjoy these posts without reservation are actually the unusual ones who have been desensitized by a lifetime on internet forums.

There's a certain jaded callousness, seasoned with a sprinkling of cynicism and misanthropy, which allows one to most fully savor the fruits of c/greentext 😂

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I didn't realize there was a wholesome greentext community here on Lemmy, thanks! :)

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

See, if I block greentext I'm gonna really miss bewildering nonsense fever-dream posts like this:

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/1df4d389-3611-48f5-bafa-1b4160b5f2e5.jpeg

I saw it and thought back to this discussion lol

Anyway, hope you're having a good one

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yea I wouldn't block it if I were you.

Thanks and same to you.

[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I probably will at some point, it's a shame though cause every once in a while something really fun or charming comes out of the greentext communities or reddit or lemmy. I don't meant to condemn folks for their choice or preferences, just express that I can't relate to them

Hope you have a good one :)

[–] Someplaceunknown@fedia.io 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Cant say I understand. Doesn't really seem healthy to soak in that kinda cesspool, but everyone's gotta live their own life and make their own decisions I suppose

[–] LarmyOfLone@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago

But we live in a society

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We're not soaking in the cesspool, just gently dipping our toes in it.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

blowing a few bubbles every now and then...

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] superkret@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago

Like pissing in an ocean of piss.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 63 points 2 months ago

Anon processes his divorce.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There's no way this guy didn't hit her when she threatened to leave.

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 80 points 2 months ago (1 children)

don't worry, it's not real

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

I was aware.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It'd feel like a plot hole if that guy didn't beat the shit out of his wife

[–] mriormro@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] superkret@feddit.org 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Fuck, that channel is so depressing.
Starts out as him and his wife sampling food at restaurants, pivots to them sampling whisky, then him sampling whisky alone, then the famous video where his wife leaves while he reviews the Laphroaig.
And he's been making a video sampling a new bottle of whisky basically every day for the past 8 years, most videos getting fewer than 100 views.

[–] mriormro@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Ehhh, certainly that video was a bleak point but if you scope out his latest videos you can see he sounds like he's in a better place and occasionally brings on a friend or two to happily review together.

As to his low view count: it seems like it's a small, consistent community that watches his stuff. So he's found a little niche for himself.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago

Is the next post a picture of Chris Benoit?, fucking hell.