This is an epically old callback, by Lemmy standards.

It all comes full circle. Like a toilet bowl. My first day on Lemmy was the don't ask why, but I need to not shit for 3 days post. And here we are. So much culture in only a year.

Jack Link's beef stick & cheese, sasquatch size. You're going to need at least 6 per day to get over 1600 calories but it's going to be nearly 3x recommended sodium for the day so be sure to drink lots of water.

If you manage to poop at any time during those three days you deserve a medal.

Yay! Poop challenges are back again!

3lbs of cashews, eat one pound each day, shit will flow

Why do you need this?

If you want volume, go for as much veggies as you can. Try 4 large potatoes and a lb of black beans per day.

Gas station roller grill taquitos, a 5lb bag of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears, and a case of bottled water.

Start with the taquitos, then eat the gummy bears a handful at a time. You’ll know when to switch to water.

Whatever you do don’t eat large bags of Almonds. I don’t think you’d survive the pain on day 3. If you have some way to anesthetize your anus - then I would suggest that.

Whatever mizu did, do the opposite.

Training for No Poop November I see. I bet I'll make it the entire month next time.

How easy would it be for you to find (natural) laxatives? ChatGPT names Prunes and Kiwis, Broccoli, Almonds and Walnuts, Yogurt (the white non-sweet kind would be best)

Basically the above is just a who's who of healthy dieting if you ask me lol. If you need high caloric density for the "eating as much as possible" part just go for anything high in fat and or sugar. Nutella would check both boxes but this is really not recommendable from a health perspective obviously.

Competitive eaters like Beard Meats Food would just chug on double cream if they wanted to get as many calories down as possible. The only "problem" there is that it doesn't make for a very entertaining video.

Haribo sugarless gummy bears have a strong laxative effect. I'd say that's a pretty strong contender

Rice and beans.

Dried prunes, apples and pears have, I believe, the highest poop to volume ratio of any food.

Yellow dragonfruit, refried beans/hummus

Prunes. Nothing but prunes.

Clean yourself out with a laxative. Like a colonoscopy prep. Safely. Then eat only high protein, low residue foods. Look them up. Should be as close to good as possible. No poop already in process, slow moving food after. Won’t be comfortable, but you should make it.