I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).

  • sadcoconut@lemm.ee
    61·
    10 months ago

    There’s a small number of surprisingly aggressive and unhelpful responses here. People are different and the world, especially the workplace, is made by extroverts and that can be difficult for those of us that are more introverted.

    In an ideal world your colleagues would be mindful of that but unfortunately that’s often not the case (and of course extroverts often don’t engage in a whole lot of self reflection).

    You’re going to have to put up with a bit of annoying small talk. Try to find something that’s a compromise you can live with. After that I’d say being polite but direct is best… nice chatting but I need to get back to work. No further elaboration is required.

    You can also try telling some people that you’re not a big chatter or something and that you like to just get on with work. See how that goes, people are often more understanding than you would expect.

    (I should say I live in the UK and work in a technical industry so YMMV).