I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
      121·
      10 months ago

      It’s not a waste of time. It builds a background relationship which you can then leverage to get things done. It is social capital. Negotiation lubricant.

      Yes, fake it. It will be valuable when you need a favor, or information, or even when you want to ask your boss for a raise.

        • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
          91·
          10 months ago

          Most people act emotionally, not rationally.

          When you find an autistic boss, they’ll appreciate your silence and logic, until then, play the game.

        • Fal@yiffit.netEnglish
          4·
          10 months ago

          You realize that your pay isn’t coming out of your bosses pocket, unless you work for a very tiny company.

    • Sanctus@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      10 months ago

      but if its true people are easy to manipulate.

      That is not the correct way to think about that. They are evaluating you, too. Humans are social animals. Your interactions will determine where you stand in the social hierarchy.

      Like others have said, it is useful. Its useful I know the names of my bosses children, maybe even when their birthdays are. People like it when you remember details about them, and it also helps you understand them more which can lead to better workflows.