I was just randomly checking out what Funerals costs and was shocked how expensive it was! €3.500 to €5.500! I live in north Germany, and we have here some very deep Woods. So I was thinking what would happen if I just die there. Let’s say no one ever finds me. Are Animals just going to eat me, and will I just be gone in a couple of years?

EDIT: If someone knows what happens step by step I would be really curious to know :D

  • CandleTiger@programming.dev
    982·
    10 months ago

    I’m imagining what happens is they organize a giant search party to look for you (this is not the good kind of giant party) Eventually they find your corpse and put it in a refrigerator for a long time while your relatives argue with the police about whether you were kidnapped and murdered. Somebody pays for all this, maybe the tax payers, maybe your relatives, I don’t know. Then after all that you finally get to have your expensive funeral but on top of being sad, everybody is frustrated.

    I’m thinking, better all around if you just don’t die quite yet because that shit is just awkward.

    Gluck auf!

    • catarina@kbin.social
      33·
      10 months ago

      I love the sentiment: “just don’t die because it’s awkward AF”. If “joie de vivre” doesn’t make you cling to life, there’s always social anxiety even after death 🤣

    • teft@lemmy.world
      29·
      10 months ago

      So what you’re saying is that you need to make the crime scene interesting so people aren’t frustrated. Got it.

        • teft@lemmy.world
          15·
          10 months ago

          I prefer the balloon drop. If you use one of those mylar balloons it could last for 30 years and still be full of air. Just think how it would really perk up some future investigator’s afternoon.

    • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      10 months ago

      What happens if I commit suicide by fire? And maybe with a fan to blow away the ashes?

      Basically what if there is no body?

      • yokonzo@lemmy.world
        7·
        10 months ago

        So an incineration to ashes requires something like several sustained hours at 4000⁰, you would basically have to build a pyre

      • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
        2·
        10 months ago

        Isn’t self immolation fairly agonising? I always assumed fire is the worst way to go.

        • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
          1·
          10 months ago

          I have no idea tbh, but I did get a 1 inch circular brand about a decade ago, and after the first two seconds or so, I couldn’t feel the heat anymore. Of course by that point my skin was literally boiling. Even before that, I don’t remember the pain being very bad.