I’m not the best at explaining things but I’ll try here for anybody that is willing to read.
For the last year or so my coworker and I have been sort of been circling each other, doing a lot of activities together and keeping in fairly regular contact via text and calls. She and I were both coming out of relationships and not exactly ready for anything to happen immediately. But we are both very active and fit people with a lot of similar interests and we get along really great.
Eventually a mutual friend let me know that she was interested and frustrated that I hadn’t made a move on her. So on Christmas Eve She came to see me and we had an honest conversation that the attraction was mutual. We made out a little bit before she went home. Afterwards we talked about our intentions and expectations, we are both interested in a long-term stable relationship, we are both interested in getting to know the other a little bit, and agreed that we would get together In a few days. She postponed because she wasn’t feeling well but then suggested New Year’s Eve, so I waited a few days and checked in with her and she’s cancelled again saying that she would prefer to just stay home, without offering anything else, so I’ll just leave it at that for now.
I have been out of the dating game for a while so it’s just hard to play a cool just when things were starting to get spicy. Any suggestions on how to stay calm and not double text?
Be honest and just communicate your worries. Don’t ask strangers, ask her. You can tell her the same things you wrote here. That you’re out of the dating game and unsure what’s going on, but that your intentions and wishes haven’t changed and that you just wanted to check, whether the two of you are still on the same page.
Openness and communication is key for every relationship. Besides…the first step into a relationship is dropping the game of “coolness” and letting her see the real you, with all the emotions and insecurities there may be.