I’m not the best at explaining things but I’ll try here for anybody that is willing to read.
For the last year or so my coworker and I have been sort of been circling each other, doing a lot of activities together and keeping in fairly regular contact via text and calls. She and I were both coming out of relationships and not exactly ready for anything to happen immediately. But we are both very active and fit people with a lot of similar interests and we get along really great.
Eventually a mutual friend let me know that she was interested and frustrated that I hadn’t made a move on her. So on Christmas Eve She came to see me and we had an honest conversation that the attraction was mutual. We made out a little bit before she went home. Afterwards we talked about our intentions and expectations, we are both interested in a long-term stable relationship, we are both interested in getting to know the other a little bit, and agreed that we would get together In a few days. She postponed because she wasn’t feeling well but then suggested New Year’s Eve, so I waited a few days and checked in with her and she’s cancelled again saying that she would prefer to just stay home, without offering anything else, so I’ll just leave it at that for now.
I have been out of the dating game for a while so it’s just hard to play a cool just when things were starting to get spicy. Any suggestions on how to stay calm and not double text?
Sounds like you both did the mature thing and discussed your interest and expectations. May want to revisit that conversation with her.
Her having a friend prompt you too talk with her the first time is a bit worrying, she may be running an old dating script. It is unlikely that you will both default to the same script, so skip that and just talk.
Sorry, my fellow human, but this may not work out.
Thanks I appreciate the insight
I came here to say the same thing. You’ve already proven you can talk about your feelings and expectations. Follow up on that. Be mindful of her wants and needs and give the potential relationship some space to grow. But continue to communicate your feelings. Talk to her if something is making you unsure. There may be other things involved, her everyday-life, old feelings and behavioral patterns. Maybe she just caught the flu and feels a bit off.