Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.
It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.
I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.
It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?
My misphonia is so bad. Crunching is like blinding red rage for me. Smacking your lips or sucking on your fingers…forget about it. I have to leave the space. I can not manage it within my being. Just attempting to walk away in a rational manner is difficult. I am most likely also neurodivergent but the undiagnosed 70’s kid kind. I just got some of those fancy new earplugs and use noise cancelling headphones a lot. I also have to just get out of there sometimes. It’s so seriously irrational. When I was a lot younger I had a lot of anger problems that I now realize were frustration at certain noises or situations.