this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 84 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Polite sex is when you shake hands before and after.

[–] krimson@feddit.nl 19 points 11 months ago

Username checks out?

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

That can't be it. I never had a son (that i know of).

Oh no, I should make some calls.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

So, just the normal way?

[–] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I guess that's why Hank Hill had Bobby and not a daughter

[–] LEONHART@slrpnk.net 10 points 11 months ago

And yet, somehow, that boy ain't right.

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[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I would hope that this is a very well-done satire, but religion rots people's brains, so... I can't be that sure.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

That's because you paid for butt sex and now your ~~soul~~ Spirit will disintegrate

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, bucko, rats are cute and round and snuggly and soft and cute and don't have a daily stress from the exam season 😭

I'd rather be a rat rn honestly

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

...Buuut "Bad food in sewer" ! Though to be fair the rats in NYC have a really nice fast food and pizza diet so...

Edit: tbf I don't even know what they ment by that LOL

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How could you possibly not understand such a well-made, not insane, not schizo poster?! /s

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I'm sewer food lol

[–] orsetto@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 38 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] 15liam20@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

New band name! Callled it.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 42 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Entertainer + homo people -> Entertain dog * Michael Jackson *

I mean, I wasnt gay before, but that seems like a pretty sweet deal.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is this like some weird evangelical Buddhist bullshit? Like, any sex that's enjoyable results in being reincarnated as a dog, or insect?

[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

isnt the punishment of reincarnation as animals a hindu thing?

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No, that's a core belief of Buddhism. You move up or down as you achieve--or lose--enlightenment, and once you've extinguished all desire, you achieve enlightenment and nirvana. Hindu might also have beliefs in reincarnation, but IDK.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

See, this is one belief system that is easy to disprove. Just look at all the people. Can anyone honestly say they've worked their way up? Are humans really the cream of the enlightenment crop?

[–] Plavatos@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Looks like someone is going down a peg or two next time....

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[–] deeply_moving_queef@lemmy.ml 26 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Tag yourself I’m Entertain Dog (homo dog).

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 7 points 11 months ago

I'm ABORTION

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 11 months ago

I'm Make You Blind

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I’m Michael Jackson

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear; became Entertain Dog.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Michael Jackson? Is that you?

[–] Sidhean@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 months ago

Oh no! He is going to chase after balls, and lick people's faces!

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

Is this a warning or a manual?

1: weird manual

2: ?????

3:

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 23 points 11 months ago

They should improve the quality of food in sewers so that those who bought sex and thus reincarnated as rats and cockroaches can get a second chance in their next lives

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Orgies, veganism and 8 hours of sleep. Noted.

[–] wcooley@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is this like the Thai version of Dr Bronner's or the Time Cube?

[–] Plavatos@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

You're spot on, total Dr Bronner-syphilis-riddled-scrawlings-vibes here...

(Jokes aside, I like Dr Bronner soap - apparently they run a decent company too)

[–] doofer_name@feddit.de 14 points 11 months ago

I… have sooo many questions…

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

Remember kids: always pay for sex

[–] jurgel@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Lmao, this is high quality shit posting

[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

This just shows you how many hoops people are willing to jump through to justify their bigotry.

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

Sounds like my kinda party.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] FrenLivesMatter@lemmy.today 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's from Thailand so likely Buddhism.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Thailand? Totally effective poster!

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[–] firewyre@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

There's so much to unpack here, impressive.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

This would be better in the form of a song titled "more sex more problem" set to tune of MO money MO problems.

[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What kind of sex do I need to have to become a rich dog?

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The expensive kind

[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

Ahh, it would be good to be a horny sperm again.

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 6 points 11 months ago
[–] rdri@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

More problem, REINCARNATION

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