I board as per usual without a hiccup on my flight from Denver to LA and I sit in my usual aisle seat. Waves of people walk past me for several minutes until the line trickles out and I realize that the doors are closed and I HAVE THE WHOLE ROW TO MYSELF!!
I am absolutely hyped this has never happened to me. I can fucking lay down in economy! Then I look across the aisle and my aisle buddy has a full row too! We high five everything is fucking fantastic.
Then the rub, I hear a guy two rows back ask for a new seat… I very literally prayed to a god I don’t believe in to spare me this night, and let me tell you god is real. I feel so bad for my aisle buddy though because the Kevin ended up sitting with him.
Let me tell you, reader, that is not all.
I set up my backpack as a pillow and chilled for a while before the drink cart came down. I figure I’m celebrating a big win so I decide to ask for a jack and coke for the first time on a flight. My flight attendant, this sweet sweet man, hands me TWO MINI JACK DANIELS AND A WHOLE CAN OF COKE FOR FREE!!! Do you hear what I am telling you??
I am fucking FLYING tonight bois. Not only do I get a whole row to my self despite all the odds, I also get two free drinks, AND IM CUTE!!! Fuck I feel good.
Last time I flew economy between europe and asia it was only me and this other guy sitting in the entire economy section. And we were on the same row. “You’re not gonna be offended if I move, do you?”