By Zayatoon comics

    • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’ve used this joke IRL with our cats. There’s another one for dogs:

      A guy and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says, “hey, you can’t bring a dog in here.”

      The guy says, “this is no ordinary dog. He’s a talking dog.”

      Bartender says, “yeah? Prove it.” The guy turns to the dog and says, “What’s on top of the building?” And the dog says “Roof! Roof!”

      Then the guy says, “How does a brick feel?” The dog says “Rough! Rough!”

      The guy then says, “Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?” The dog says “Ruth! Ruth!”

      They are thrown out of the bar.

      When they’re out on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, “So, you think I should have said DiMaggio?”

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        They are thrown out of the bar

        I’m surprised you weren’t with that joke. speaking from experience, i love my lame jokes. (and I’m not totally stealing this one…not at all.)

        • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Lame jokes can be presented in a funny way. Delivery is important. My favorite method is “matter of fact” like I am telling a normal story about usual things. Catches the recipient off-guard and the joke lands much more betterer.

      • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Or this classic very dark joke: How do you make a cat sound like a dog? You pour gasoline on the cat and light it on fire. WHOOF

        How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Push the dog through a buzz saw. MEEOOWW

  • lugal@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I get the joke but I still expected some tankies to show up. But then again, OP is on lemmy.world which is defederated with the tankie instances so that’s why

    • antidote101@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The vast majority of deaths under communism have been because of famine…

      …which may well be true for Capitalism as well.

        • Moshpirit@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          You can probably get a few if you stop and make the maths, specially when abusing developing countries.

          • joel_feila@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Well if you count percent oof population per year then pol pot the dictator of Cambodia would have the highest

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      1 year ago

      Noobish kdr. Max 10 millions deaths, somewhere between a French general during WWI (not counting German casualties) and minor paranoid dictators. Too much time larping as a psychopathic torturer, not enough time getting the job done. Mao killed several million people on a good mood, that’s professionalism.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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        1 year ago

        That’s ridiculous, you can’t judge the genocidal madmen KDA on body count alone, Leopold simply did more evil with less resources than anyone ever!

        Starting position matters, and Leopold came from behind to become one of the worsts.

    • WhiteHawk@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      While it has proven difficult to accurately estimate the pre-colonial population and the amount by which it changed under the Congo Free State, estimates for the Congolese population decline during Leopold’s rule range from 1 million to 15 million.

      That’s a lot, but not even close to Mao

  • Glytch@ttrpg.network
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    1 year ago

    Mosquitoes, thanks to Malaria. Estimated kill count (according to a Nature article from 2002) 50-60 Billion people.

    • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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      1 year ago

      Wow. You’re really gonna just blame a whole race over a few billion deaths?

      /s please don’t hang me in these streets

    • blahsay@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      More a person responsible kinda thing. I think Mao does top it but due to starvation thanks to his idiot policies that ruined crops

      • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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        1 year ago

        Is it Mr the brits or Mrs the brits?

        Ohhhh, you’re conflating a single leader with an entire country.

        You must be a lib, tankies say libs never argue in good faith, and your false equivalence is certainly in bad faith.

      • Rodeo@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Or simply keeping with the theme of answers being a single individual and not an entire nation of hundreds of millions of people spanning centuries.

    • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I don’t see why you’re so flustered, it wasn’t real communism…

      • Communist@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Well, the workers didn’t own the means of production, they didn’t abolish currency, they didn’t do anything about class division, they didn’t abolish the state, they didn’t empower the working class, and they aren’t going to do any of these things later, but on the other hand, you clearly think mao was very trustworthy so surely you must just be taking his word for it.

          • Communist@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            “land tilled by the peasantry was increasingly subject to government control, undoing many key principles of ownership as we shall see in the subsequent section ‘The Collectivisation of Agriculture.’”

            So… the government took it. Making it a meaningless gesture. Communism is not when the government owns things.

            Y’know it’s not hard to figure this stuff out. The government took everything in china. That doesn’t even take research, that’s basic knowledge.

            Bold of you to call me “fucking stupid” when you didn’t even read your own source, not to mention that that’s ONE of the requirements, not all of them, and they didn’t even do that.

              • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                You feel very comfortable calling everyone a fucking idiot, though. Do you know what rule #1 is?

                • RichCaffeineFlavor@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  The post can be a single image, an image gallery, or a link to a specific comic hosted on another site (the author’s website, for instance).

                  Not everyone is an idiot. You are.

              • Communist@lemmy.ml
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                1 year ago

                Especially trying to accuse me of not reading the source when you skipped past to the very last paragraph to dishonestly quote out of context a line that even within itself betrays the fact that you’re being a dishonest piece of shit.

                Congratulations, you’ve at best given 1 of the things that I listed… and tried to turn that into me being the idiot and not you. Except you didn’t because you know full well the chinese government owns that now. They didn’t give the land to the people, they pretended to briefly and then took it for themselves. Unlike you I have actually bothered to research these things: https://resourcehub.bakermckenzie.com/en/resources/global-corporate-real-estate-guide/asia-pacific/china/topics/real-estate-law

                Who owns land in china? the chinese government. So, no, they did not even make an attempt.

                You said they didn’t do anything about class division and being the debatelord idiot you are, you decided to ignore the fact as you read it that they abolished an entire landlord class so you could stay on course with your reply.

                When the government takes everything is that solving class division in your mind, or is that just creating a new class that owns everything?

                Now, what I want you to try to do, with your very useful and very large brain is compare the list of things that make communism, and compare the list of things that the chinese did, right, and notice that the chinese didn’t do any of them.

                1. Abolish class division < they created a new class, their own bourgeois, and took everything. This could ARGUABLY be an attempt… and it’s the best you’ve got.
                2. Abolish currency < not even attempted
                3. Abolish the state < not even attempted
                4. Give the workers the means of production < not even attempted

                So, at best, they attempted one of the things… and didn’t do it.

                And when I say you don’t need research for this, I’m saying that it’s common knowledge that the chinese government took anything… Even gradeschoolers know that.