I am 25(M) and never even touched hand of opposite sex, at this point i am kinda sure that im going to be alone in my life, but i just cant get over it. I am ugly and skinny, and as for recent started going bald. Have some heart issues so no heavy physical work. I have no chance. So i wanted to move on from this state of mind, and just focus on work and hobbies. How can i do so? Do you have any advice you can share?
Honestly, you’re probably overthinking it, which is understandable given the situation. But talking to a person of the opposite sex shouldn’t be any different than talking to a person of the same sex when you’re befriending and getting to know them. Women are human beings at the end of the day, all there is to it is to really listen, ask follow-up questions, basically just keep the conversation going if you genuinely feel interested in the person.
If not, that’s fine, too! You don’t have to force anything just for the sake of it. In fact, as bad as it may sound, it’s better to call it and go your separate ways rather than force it for yourself or for your interlocutor.
you are probably right, but most of the girls i talked with didnt have anything that we could share, so converstations end up pretty quickly, with same sex i found it much easier
Hmm, try talking about life stuff! Dreams, hopes, fears, past experiences (although I’d recommend avoiding past relationships as a subject, at least for the first couple of months), things like that! Doesn’t have to be a shared interest necessarily, anything can be interesting once you get enough details about it!
I once dated a woman who was really into cross stitching. I’m barely functional with a sewing needle, but the more I asked her about techniques, about how she mapped out her designs, how she selected the threads, the more I came to realise just how complex that activity can be! I still suck with a needle, but I have a lot more respect for people who like doing this!
its seems nice, but i think this topics will run out pretty fast if you dont share some interests in common, at least it was for me when a person was outgoing, party type, going to concerts and stuff, and im more like a house cat. Yeah i talked with them about it for a bit but i didnt know what to ask about it. At some point i even thought to ask chatgpt what shouldve i asked :D but in my head thats not a very lively conversation
Honestly, from what I’ve seen, shared topics don’t really matter that much! I’ve dated people with whom I’ve had very few shared interests, but we got along well in terms of perspectives, in terms of thinking about things, in terms of values, etc.
It’s not as much the granular minutiae, it’s more about the person as a whole. It’s about really getting to know them, to understand them. I actually think it’s even more interesting when there aren’t as many shared interests as long as philosophical aspects are compatible, as there’s a lot of new information for me to explore! Plus you never know when you’ll learn something you didn’t even know would interest you!
And it applies to the other person as well, my most “uncommon” hobbies frequently generate the most questions. For instance, I like Warhammer 40k lore and painting miniatures. I’ve never once dated someone who was familiar with 40k, but, boy, did they get me talking about it once I started delving into the lore and such!
Enthusiasm and passion are the most potent elements centered around interests, even more than the subject itself!
‘Crazy’ cat ladies are a literal stereotype. If you’re a house cat, there’s someone out there looking for that vibe
for that vibe - yes, but again im not attractive at all, someone notices me and prly will think about friendship at max. I am not saying friendships are bad - no, they are good if they are genuine, but it’s just might be not what i’m looking for, or looked…