• morrowind@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    You’re judging based on arbitrary standards of the “modern” and “correct” way to find a partner.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I’m pretty sure the people who choose to find a partner by having their parents make profiles on “matrimony websites” are doing it wrong…

      Now, I have zero experience with that tactic, but even the LinkedIn Lunatic seems to agree it’s not the best plan

      So it’s not arbitrary standards, it’s based on that person saying it’s not working.

      What’s confusing is they don’t seem to understandwhy women in 2025 aren’t attracted to that method

      Who wants to marry a guy based on an ad his mother wrote? Every woman I know would see that as a giant red flag and run for the hills. Which again, seems to be what the person who tried it also found out…

      • pseudo@jlai.lu
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        4 hours ago

        Maybe for you and your culture but in most of the world it’s not how life is. Inlaws are a big part of marital life and without having your parent bride-hunt for you, you could easy understand the appeal of knowing ahead of time that the person with which you start to build a relation already get along with your parents and you get along with theirs.

        • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          Cool, give me a single example where parents picking their kids marriage partners and women have equal rights.

          I couldn’t find one when I looked yesterday.

      • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        I am pretty sure the women on those sites don’t decide who to marry themselves either. It is very likely their parents too.

        • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Parent can make all the dates they want…

          Doesn’t mean she’s going to show up, or if she does that she’s going to like the guy.

          Like, irrespective of country or culture. Parents try to set up their kids, and it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property.

          If you’re referring to a country/culture where the women can’t say no…

          That’s not arranged marriages, that’s human trafficking at best.

          • morrowind@lemmy.ml
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            1 day ago

            Like, irrespective of country or culture. Parents try to set up their kids, and it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property.

            You’re gonna need a source for this. And this is a very backwards view. Just because your patents help you find a partner doesn’t mean you don’t get a say. You may be thinking of forced marriages, which are not the same

            Older source but I assume OOP is from India, where is seems most people prefer arranged marriages at time of publishing. https://www.indiatoday.in/lifestyle/relationship/story/indians-swear-by-arranged-marriages-155274-2013-03-03

            Higher among both women and young people.

            • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              You’re gonna need a source for this.

              You quoted four claims bruh…

              If you want a source for one thing, I can probably find it

              But I’m not doing a research paper on 3 things for you to say it’s the one thing I didn’t mention.

              You gotta be specific if you want good answers.

              Quick edit:

              where is seems most people prefer arranged marriages at time of publishing.

              Only a dozen years ago people weren’t against this!

              • morrowind@lemmy.ml
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                1 day ago

                For this

                it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property

                • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  I mean, how am I going to prove two subjective opinions?

                  That’s an unrealistic ask. That’s like asking why the 1982 Mets was the best team in history with the world’s greatest moustaches. It might be true but any effort to prove it empirically would be an exercise in futility used only to teach someone a point.

                  If you’re trying to have an argument, the smart move would be to find an example of a country where women are both legally and culturally treated as equals and arranged marriage is still something people are happy with.

                  But I can’t exactly prove the Easter bunny didn’t his eggs under your pillow unless I can prove it was your sibling messing with you for a prank.