this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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On a more practical sense, someone once told me that discipline and habit is far more important than motivation once things are properly rolling. Motivation might be the spark that gotten things rolling, but it's discipline and habit that keeps it going. (And that I ought to listen to that advice myself.)
However, in a more philosophical sense, I think accepting that you've lost your own spark and facing that very question “how does one be alive?” with the intent of reigniting that lost spark is pretty much facing the absurd. That facing that question every waking day of one's life, answering that question for every moment, is pretty much the point. Whether or not the answer makes sense (in the moment or otherwise) or not is irrelevant, because the value is not in the answer, but in the way we face it.
It could be that for today, I could face it by making a slight detour in my daily commute and allowing myself to get lost on the way home, for example. It could be that for some other day, just as an example, I could choose to face it by not wearing any underwear during a work zoom meeting, relishing on that danger of being exposed. Or it could be as trivial as making pancit by using spaghetti. Or making spaghetti by using pancit bihon. All trivial things in the big picture, but if it makes my day any little more tolerable, then so be it.