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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Yeah, it’s the pressure of needing tasks completed immediately and the obvious importance/need to remove the stress-causing thing.

    It’s a perfect recipe for hyperfocus and also why I can’t set my own deadlines–because I know it’s all wibbly wobbly when there isn’t a hard deadline from an external source. I’d be rich if I had a dollar for every time I wished someone would just tell me when something is needed instead of asking me to give an estimate.

    If the task feels like boring busy work or bullshit and no one told me otherwise, you’ve got fuckall chance it’s getting done.


  • I didn’t get converted to a permanent position after a whole year at my job. The only negative feedback (among otherwise great remarks) I had was six months in:

    1. Be more organized and send updates more often.
    2. Speak without tangents or sounding scattered.
    3. Improve prediction of how long tasks will take and completion dates when considering other priorities.

    Does anyone want to guess my diagnosis?* Lol

    The maddening thing is that I didn’t get any follow-up after those comments until five months later, when I got the surprising news that they would not be continuing with me. If I had thought my subsequent med change and work strategies were not, in fact, improving my performance, I would have pursued accommodations.

    * It’s ADHD.




  • And I’m going to add something that helps me talk to my therapist: “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.”

    After you’ve tried to deal with something yourself and haven’t succeeded, telling someone about what’s going on, no matter how unimportant or embarrassing or burdensome or shameful it feels, is the first step to living a life of contentment.



  • n+1 here, but I’m a bi woman married to a straight man and I’ve started using partner more recently because there’s a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.

    I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I’m married to identifies.

    At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!