The Last Of Us is something I’ve wanted to play for years. It was THE GAME that made me regret buying an Xbox.
Eventually I left Xbox and now I’m on PC exclusively. I still want to play The Last Of Us but I’m not paying full price based on the reviews. I waited like 8 years or whatever, I can wait longer until they fix the PC port, if ever. And if not I’ll wait until it’s 20 bucks.
I’m not qualified to answer this even though I want to help you. If you are considering suicide please don’t. Please find a helpline and talk to someone who can help you so much better than me.