Gender: Female, Sexuality: Enigma,
Disabled and autistic as hell.
Profile largely abandoned. New one’s over at lemmy.zip
In horror games, I always try to domesticate the monster by letting it follow me around the map without catching me. Then I have a buddy.
You know what weirdly does fill me with dread though? Space games. I played around with space engine and it doesn’t matter what I’m looking at or where I am, I am just super uncomfortable and want to stop. Those’re my horror games.
I’m not the only one who thought it was fucking hilarious, right? I know it’s supposed to be body horror, and I do generally find Junji Ito’s stuff goddamn disturbing and horrifying, but this is the first one I saw and it just looked so funny to me that all his other stuff caught me completely off guard.
I do a similar thing to help myself get started, and the secret is it doesn’t have to be chores. Step one can be literally anything that’s easy to do that you’re not currently doing. For instance, my step one is often something as simple as talking to somebody. Then step 2 is something closer to what you need to do. Like if I’m gonna need to do something that requires more energy, my step 2 could be taking a walk, or if I can’t get myself to do that, pacing around a bit.
You just work up until doing the task you need to do becomes the natural conclusion. If my task was cleaning the bathroom, the next step after walking might be brushing my teeth, then I say “Well I’m already up and doing stuff, and I’m already in the bathroom. Might as well clean it.”
And it’s not always gonna work, which I think is okay, as long as it works often enough that my space remains livable.
That’s what I do. If somebody’s gonna be pissed no matter how you pronounce it, might as well piss them all off equally.
Meanwhile I’m too autistic to tell when they AREN’T happening, and just keep talking until somebody respectfully tells me to shut up an take my turn.
Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone actually ask somebody to leave where I’m from. If it gets too late and our guests are still there, guess they’re staying the night. Luckily, most people leave before then.
I’ve lived most of my life in tiny Vermont villages, for context.
Don’t even have to be that old to experience that. There’s this weird phenomenon where if you’re born at the tail end of the 90s, anyone born 2000 onward feels infinitely younger, even if the actual age difference is only a few years.
I was born 1998 and I still look at anybody born in 2000 like “you’ve gotta be 12 years old max.”
I’ve always heard other women have this problem, but I’ve personally only ever experienced it with expensive brands like designer stuff, which designers for some reason think all women are so tiny that their size 18 should only be just barely big enough to fit a middle school girl.
Cheap stuff, especially stuff I find at walmart and such, seems extrodinarily consistent, to the point where I just pick up my size or one higher if they don’t have it, and don’t even bother to check if it fits.
Shoe sizes however… I’m 99% sure those are supposed to be standard, and yet I’ve found size 9s and size 12s that were the same size. Got sick of it and now I only buy men’s shoes unless I need something fancy. Even then, logger boots are fancy enough to me.
Perhaps this will enlighten you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZVwFa-Fz5Q
And in case you don’t feel like watching that: It’s a meme harkening back to the stupidity displayed on a well known tumblr post, one of the many displays of which was somebody insisting 2 was odd.
Also see this Ace Attorney version, which is hilarious and the first place I’d heard of it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcyYnUHVBA
Every linux distro I’ve used, and every device I’ve used them on, I’ve had to do hours, sometimes days of googling and editing config files just to get the audio to work right. Then half the time I update and it’s broken again.
I’m a major linux newbie though. Not in terms of actually being new, but in terms of having no clue how to fix basic things.
As someone on the far older end of gen Z or the far younger end of millenial, depending on where you draw the line:
I hate sex scenes. I have some personal issues however that may affect my judgment. Trauma and such. Don’t wanna see sex unless I was fully mentally prepared for it, which I just can’t be if it’s shoved into some random movie, regardless of if you warn me in advance.
It might seem odd, but I wonder if the almost unavoidable overexposure to porn from a very young age elicits a similar response in a lot of younger people. The fact that for a lot of your life, sex is a forbidden thing you have to sneak around to indulge in, and which the one form you have exposure to, porn, carries the risk of addiction. It seems like it’d leave an impression on your mind that it’s a scary thing you have to hide, which I could see eliciting some kind of trauma response when suddenly it’s everywhere and you’re still stuck feeling like you have to hide it.
Some of my clocks have the option, some don’t. I find it inconvenient to have different clocks set to different things making my brain have to mentally convert between eachother. Not to mention having to mentally convert the time every time I need to give a time to somebody else. It’d just be easier if the whole world was on 24 hour by default.
I support a move to 24 hour time. I’m sick of waking up from a nap checking the clock to see if I overslept, and it’s like “It’s 5.” 5 what? Did I sleep 1 hour or 13?
Can’t check the sun. I live in the north. The sun lies.
For me, it’s the complete and total inability to focus on anything without caffeine. I can’t even do something I enjoy for longer than 10 minutes before I’m off the rails doing something completely unrelated for 2 minutes before I’m on to something else unrelated for another 2, never getting back to the original task.
Having a fixation on a hobby for me, instead of meaning dedicating myself to it, means thinking about it constantly in between goofing off, and never being able to actually get myself to do it, to my own immense frustration.
Writing is probably my biggest fixation I have, and I have dozens of 40 page long plot skeletons for series I want to write, all written a single paragraph at a time per day, and exactly one novel where the first draft is half finished after 3 years of work, and I haven’t written a single word in about a year because every time I sit down to write, I literally immediately get distracted. Forcing myself to do it in various ways instead of goofing off results in feeling horrible, and writing horrible quality writing I have to delete the next day, all because my brain could not engage with what I was doing, even though I absolutely love it normally.
And the biggest indicator that I have adhd, besides being actually diagnosed with it, is that all these issues vanish when I drink absurd amounts of caffeine. I can write and enjoy it. In fact, I can write 10,000 words in a single day and absolutely love every minute of it. Albiet, it tends to be 10,000 words into a novella I end up trashing, but that’s still productivity.
As for autism, well, I have difficulty communicating, can’t talk to somebody about anything without looping the conversation around to me (how do you even talk without talking about yourself? Still can’t figure that out,) and also have extreme sensory issues. If my hands are even slightly dry I retch, if my fingernails are too short, same thing. I also can’t be around large groups of people because it overstimulates me immediately and I forget how to everything.
Fixed typo resulting in ticks giving lyme disease instead of limes diseases. Ticks now properly feed on fruit juices instead of blood.
It took me a long time after realizing I was trans to transition, so I ended up having to get comfortable in women’s sections while still looking very obviously like a man.
Turns out, it’s the nervousness that makes people uncomfortable, because there’s a lot of less good reasons a male appearing person might be nervous in a women’s section. Once you can manage to shop with confidence, the worst anybody will assume is that you’re shopping for a gift for a girlfriend or sister or something.
Guess I’m chaotic good.
I chose my name because it means “prophet,” and psychics kept telling me I had really strong spiritual energy, but the name itself is pretty normal.
Yes, I frequently encounter psychics in my daily life. It just occurred to me how weird that is.
The day I added a GameCube to my retro setup was the day I accepted everyone gets old eventually.