no need to feel like an impostor. you could be homoromantic asexual. or if you’re also on the aro spectrum, oriented aroace (where tertiary attractions are relevant enough to be considered part of their orientation) could apply.
even if you’re not on the end of the ace spectrum, like gray or demisexual, you still belong in this community. and if you ever turn out to be not aspec anymore in the future, i’m sure you’d still be welcome here.
you are what you are, and that’s valid. you don’t need to prove your place here.
and feeling lonely/sad because you don’t have anyone is no reason to be excluded, either. some aces (and aros) have no problem being alone. some crave a relationship of some kind. some are actively avoiding it, because “ew, relationships”.
the ace spectrum is just as diverse as humanity itself, we just have the little difference of not (or conditionally, or rarely) experiencing sexual attraction. that says NOTHING about our opinions or how we interface with the (lack of) feelings
I think it was 2014 or 2015 where someone suggested to me that I might be aro. either I misheard it or they mispronounced it, but I thought “what? aromatic? what’s that supposed to mean?” and kinda dismissed it.
a bit later, maybe also 2016, I stumbled upon the term asexuality. and I found myself in there as well. to me, it was less “omg, I’m not broken!” but more “ah, that’s the word for it”. I was already kind of aware of my non-existant level of attraction and desire to look for a relationship. I’m sex repulsed, so that made asexuality rather clear.
in terms of being aromantic: I never kissed, hugged or cuddled with the teenage girlfriend I had (into which relationship my mother kinda coerced me into. not out of bad faith, though. I had almost no friends, and she just wanted me to encourage to feel romantic love toward someone and experience how awesome it’s supposed to feel)
so, some years later, I also stumbled upon the aro label. even though I knew it was applicable, I didn’t really vibe with it for quite some time. maybe because I my sex repulsion made my asexuality a lot clearer and significant than my (I guess) romance indifference.
Today, I’ve embraced both labels. I’m glad to have found them, because it opened up a world for me to find other like-minded people online (I’m not aware of anyone offline being aro or ace) to share discussions and memes with.
the a-spec community is/was one of the last things I regularly returned to reddit for, if this community finally picks up some steam, I might be able to stay here for good. :)