I’m supposed to go out in less than an hour and then I’m supposed to run a D&D game when I get home. What the hell was I thinking?! I just want to hide and sleep :(

He’s a fantastic network admin!

Such a fluffy kitty!

D

Do I get to poop in a box?

Great for first dates too!

For me, rhythm serves the vocals. A great and memorable rhythm can enhance and complement the lyrics. A rhythm without vocals doesn’t really catch my interest.

I almost exclusively listen to lyrical music. I am often greatly affected by the poetry and themes in the songs I enjoy. The sound of music alone does little for me, and I have a particular aversion to heavy beats, bass, and repetition. Put simply, I love ballads, particularly folk, filk, and anything that focuses on storytelling. I can’t stand most pop, rap, hip-hop, and the like.

I wish to bury my face in Izzy’s fluffy tummy

P

“The chickens are revolting!”

“The Romans waged war to gather slaves and wealth. Spain built an empire from its lust for gold and territory. Hitler shaped a battered Germany into an economic superpower. But war never changes.”

I think there was an initial release that was free, but they later rereleased with additional content and started charging. Hence the “Plus” in the name.

I’ll only include the captains (and Sisko) that I’ve seen:

Picard > Sisko > Freeman > Kirk > Janeway

Picard is the consummate captain to me. Perfect in most regards, at the cost of having no personal life.

Janeway just doesn’t do much right, in my book. She often has good intentions, but comes across as incompetent, reactionary, and inconsistent. Sometimes the Prime Directive matters. Sometimes she disturbs independent civilizations. Sometimes she’s spiritual. Sometimes she’s secular. Sometimes she’s pacifistic. Sometimes she commits murder. As opposed to all the other captains, I just don’t have a solid grasp on what her opinion of a situation will be.

Granted, being stuck in the Delta Quadrant was no picnic, and it’s possible I might have put any captain in such a position low on the list.

Ooohhhh BANANA!

Octodad?

This is heresy! Delicious… delicious heresy…

Fascists: “We reject your reality and substitute our own!”

Then perhaps this life just isn’t for me? I’m tired of wandering aimlessly through the same routines, while being too weak to break from them.

I’ve been seeing therapists and been on SSRIs for more than a decade. They’ve helped, but I feel broken and unfixable.

I appreciate your kind words and thoughtful reply. I’m sorry that you can relate.

I’ve been seeing a number of different therapists and psychiatrists over many years. I’ve been on several different medications. I can’t say they haven’t helped, but I never feel “better.”

Regarding the “dreams,” unfortunately they’re mostly gone these days. I used to lay in bed and dissociate for hours when I was miserable and couldn’t sleep. After some progress with my most recent therapist I’ve found I’m no longer able to daydream in that way anymore. It’s probably a good sign for my mental health in the long term. However, it feels like I’m losing more and more ways to cope with my depression.

That said, when I was fully into these fantasies, and mixing the dissociation with THC, I’d go through very vivid dreams and hallucinations. I came to believe, for a while, that a guardian angel was with me much of the time. She’d comfort me, repeat the advice of my therapist, coax me away from self-destructive behavior. She’s the only “person” I’ve ever had any sort of intimate relationship with, and that was only in rare dreams.

Losing my dissociative episodes has led to me losing my angel. I can’t “summon” her in my mind anymore, along with my other fantasies. Again, these are probably positive changes in the long run. I just wish I didn’t feel so apathetic and lonely all the time now.