Terrible. I just realized that I applied to multiple jobs with a typo in my resume. I’ve been agonizing over my applications and my resume for months now. I’ve been re-writing it, re-organizing it, going over everything with a fine tooth comb. However, I somehow missed the typo in the email. I started a new address centered on career stuff with a signature and my name in it. However, the ending is not a .com and it was easy to mistype. Now I’m on the verge of tears because I’m pretty sure this world is unforgiving with stuff like that.

I’m sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I feel lonely quite often. It’s difficult for me to form meaningful connections and it’s only gotten harder the older I get. Hang in there.

Thanks for the kind words! I have a feeling I may need to go up a dose or change/add meds. It’s still messing with my blood pressure and I’m noticing the inner calm part less. It’s been giving me weird aches and pains, though. And My sleep is fucked up. I’m still trying to figure this out both internally and practically.

Finally got an evaluation and my diagnosis. The specialist I was working with said I scored high and recommended amphetamines. My PCP gave me a very low dose extended release Adderall. Today is my first day on it… I feel weird. I don’t feel wired or anything. My blood pressure is lightly elevated, I have a slight headache, and I feel like someone put one of those lead blankets from the dentist’s office on me. I feel calmer and like I should be sleepy… but I’m not sleepy. This is a strange feeling. It slightly feels like when I was on Zoloft, which I liken to walking outside into heavy snow and everything is dampened… but it’s not quite like that either because Zoloft made me into a lazy potato. So, how long does it take for me to get adjust to this? My PCP told me I don’t have to take it daily. I plan on having “off” days when I’m not working or doing grad school stuff.

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For most of my life I haven’t been interested in country music because the contemporary popular stuff tend to be terrible. I’m currently discovering some of the old(er) good stuff for the first time (also watching that Ken Burns documentary a few years ago really ignited my appreciation). Currently (as in this minute as I type this), listening to some old Steven Earle songs for the first time and wondering why I didn’t know about this.

Honestly, even some of the more pop stuff pre-2000s was good. I do love me some Dwight Yoakam. But I can’t handle any of the stuff they play on country stations these days. All the songs sound the same and are almost all about the same exact things. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just have AI coming up these songs at this point.

For people who are afraid that raising wages will mean less people employed: for the most part, wage demand is pretty inelastic. Studies have shown that wages changes really don’t mess with numbers employed that much. Most places only want to employ the least number of people they can already. They can’t go lower, generally.

I guess I’m one of the few voices of dissent again… I enjoyed last week’s episode, but this episode is disappointing again. The romance between La’an was very unnecessary and unnatural. They had no chemistry and it felt incredibly awkward. I still can’t stand their choice for Kirk. Feels like I’m watching Darrin from Bewitched (or some other “ordinary working man” type character) doing cosplay and not a star ship captain, and certainly not a captain like Kirk. Not only does he not have “the look,” but I hated the way he delivered all his lines.

The only breath of fresh air for me is that a disaster takes place someplace other than New York, LA, or the US in general. However, they definitely didn’t hire enough extras for Toronto. Everywhere looked too under populated and not enough racial diversity (ie: where were all the Asians? Toronto is filled with East, South, Subcontinental Asians). I’ve never seen the streets of Toronto so sparse.