I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. Wait, I’m in my 30s. Ok yes, I was born yesterday.

“Yeah, makes sense. You know how hard it is to draw a perfect circle? How about you try it then, asshole? Didn’t think so. Now pay up!!”

• Canva sales team, probably

Yeah, that fucking rocked.

The worst is being corrected.

“Good morning, how are you?”

looks at watch “it’s 12:01pm so it’s good afternoon”

Some Brazilian sadness: https://youtube.com/watch?v=r3PMqvqLyU0

The guitar is beautifully excellent

But nobody is around to smell it, does it have an odor?

It’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back

Reminds me of a Johnny Bravo episode where he rips off a tag from a mattress that says “do not remove under penalty of law” and then helicopters start coming after him lol

Double entendre: “eu” means “me” in Portuguese

They should brand it “omg gmo grapefruit”

Everyone knows the sun’s core makes vitamin D

Not even for the lulz?

They should get Florida too just so there’s this flipped symmetry kind of thing similar to the US + Alaska

I feel like it’s just boomers at this point