Picture an 4 way intersection.

For me every single car just went about their way all willy nilly like it was nothing.

Occasionally a semi hauling triple trailers flys through grinding every else to a halt when everyone is trying to get through.

There’s no order, the lights don’t work, and almost no one wants to yield.

The cars were ideas, things I saw, and things I needed to do. The semi is my latest hyper obsession. The non functional traffic lights were my ability to regulate my thoughts.

When I took my meds it was like the lights started working suddenly. At first they were really strict, one car at a time like a highway on ramp. But then things amped down a bit as I got more used to the meds. I even went up to 60mg atomoxetine from 40mg where I started as things ramped too close to chaos again.

I hope that made sense.

For me I have the urge to stand up but I can’t bring myself to on many occasions and beat myself up about for too long.

It’s gotten easier to stand up about things since I started taking meds.

In fact thinking back on it since I started my meds I’ve stood up almost every time.

Honestly life has gotten so much easier and better since then it’s kinda crazy.

I wish I had gotten around to scheduling the appointment sooner.