Sorry to be like this but can we get a tw/cw on here?

100% this. Even if the closest friend I have told me they were suicidal, I’m not sure how well-composed my response would be.

OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this, and you deserve to feel better.

My advice would be to try not to antagonise other people for what they haven’t done, even if you maybe expected more. Life is pretty weird, and honestly, people with depression can be difficult to deal with. I say this as someone who is/has been that person. I am not proud of how that’s manifested in my social interactions sometimes.

You never know where someone is in terms of their emotional capacity. They could be depressed themselves, which could lower their empathy. They could have had a really rough week, which may have made your confession untimely for them. Who knows.

It sounds like you feel really lonely though, and honestly I would either 1) talk about that specifically over your depression as a whole, or 2) put yourself out there in community or hobby-related events and meet new people to form bonds with.

I wish you the best.

I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I’m starting to think that we’re both narcissists haha

I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He’ll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I’ve had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I’ve got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.

With friends and family? It depends.

For friends, I care if they’re very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I’m really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.

For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues… generally no.

Based comment

I’ve been getting freckles on my body in similar places that aren’t exposed to the sun. I always thought it was related to age rather than testosterone, but who knows! I don’t mind them personally.

Just thought I’d put it out there because I feel like it would be neglectful of me not to: minoxidil fucked my skin and aged me by a good 5-10 years. And I was only using it topically on my scalp for balding! The effects on my face would have been from the residue on my pillow as I roll around in my sleep. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if I put it on my face. Look up “minoxidil collagen breakdown” for more details; I’ll spare you them here, but taking minoxidil for 1.5 years is one of my biggest regrets.

There is very little data on the likelihood that this impacts someone taking it, mostly bc the hair restoration industry is extremely quick to silence anyone who complains of any kind of side effect. I was even told by the Dr who prescribed it to me that I was “imagining things.”

Whether you heed this caution or not, I wish you the best in your journey to glorious beardom.

Thanks. Yeah, I don’t think their comment is entirely accurate.

If anything, at least in my case, being a “tech nerd” almost acted to validate my gender when I was a kid, and vice versa. I would have had a harder time had I been into something more traditionally feminine, because my family/other transphobes would point at it as evidence that I’m not “really” a guy.

The original comment is probably well-intentioned, but it honestly doesn’t feel very far removed from just using “AFABs” to refer to a social group, which makes my skin crawl. I and many other trans guys’ upbringings are quite different from cis women’s.

How are trans men excluded from tech?

(Not trolling, genuinely asking. N.B. I am a stealth trans man in tech.)

Fwiw I’m a trans man and I also work in tech lol. I didn’t see the survey. I’m stealth irl and don’t spend much time on trans communities/subs online either. I think this might be fairly common

I don’t think it would change my day-to-day life now as a transitioned, largely stealth, reasonably happy person. However, I’d still say yes for 2 reasons:

1. First puberty was jarring and made irreversible changes to my body that I don’t like. The experience was traumatic and it’s something I really wish I could live without
2. My gonads making testosterone would be much more convenient than relying on my memory/discipline lol

I may have said no if I got puberty blockers in my early teens, but I was nowhere near that privileged.

I had so much trouble understanding pubescent girls in the media, how they were so excited to have their first period or wear their first bra. I thought everyone experienced the absolute dread that came with puberty and they were all just pretending. I was fully expecting to get a huge growth spurt one day and grow to be 6ft tall and look like Jim Morrison. It felt like someone had made a mistake and it would correct itself naturally.

God this is relatable AF. First puberty was honestly traumatic for me.

I hope you feel better on T now :)

I grew up in a country where gay and trans rights do not exist and where people in those communities are heavily ostracised and treated like they’re crazy. No legal recognition, no means of transitioning, no posting about it on social media, nothing

I moved to the UK nearly 8 years ago to start living my life, and the UK is… well. I’ll start off by saying that it’s infinitely better about trans people than where I come from. But I don’t think it’s good about trans people on the whole.

‘Legal’ transition only matters for the terms you are referred to in legal documentation around marriage/parenthood, and whether or not you need to tell the tax body your AGAB. A name change (which includes your title) is trivial. To fix the other stuff, you have to get letters from doctors and fill out a form and pay a fee and wait a while for some mysterious council to decide if you’re trans enough. I think most people don’t bother.

Medical transition is very inaccessible, and I suspect I’m privileged in that I got through the waitlist back when it was a few years for an appointment, and not basically indefinite. Doctors agreeing to actually prescribe your HRT after that entire dance is hit or miss, although the majority would continue to prescribe patient who has already been on it for a while, in my experience anyway.

The UK is also a bit insane on anti-trans media. That’s the only thing I didn’t have to deal with back home, lol (because trans people are not recognised or talked about) I can’t see a reason for being under the media’s crosshairs than being an easy scapegoat for the ruling political party to distract voters from real systemic issues that actually need fixing.

How long have you been on T?

In my first year or so I was generally pretty hangry, but especially for steak and beef lol. Way more common thank you think

I don’t think my appetite has necessarily changed since, but over time my lifestyle has adapted and I definitely don’t get bouts of hanger like that anymore

Because the USA loves inventing problems to “”solve”” (see: literally the entire military industrial complex)

I also have ASD and I actually have the complete opposite view! I don’t like it when people text me expecting me to reply instantly, because I don’t feel like text conversations have a well-defined start and end. That bothers me in a “unfinished business” way. As in, if I respond immediately, and then they respond immediately, and so on and so forth, when does it end? Nobody really says goodbye in instant messaging anymore. I appreciate people who understand that I’m going to take my sweet time to respond, especially because I don’t use my smartphone often anyway (as it’s very distracting and can be a huge time sink for me).

I like to let all my friends know that if something is important or they want an imminent response, they should just call me instead. That way I don’t have that feeling that “the ball is in my court” after the call ends, i.e. that I need to check my phone and respond to something before someone arbitrarily decides it’s been too long and gets upset with me.

I am a “zillennial” (born in the late 90s), and one of the things I miss about the early days of the internet with stuff like MSN is the focus on statuses (online, busy, offline) and how accurate they were. If someone were marked as online, you knew they were on the computer at that very moment and it’s not just whatever status they had set on their smartphone or whatever.

Fuck the I”D”F

If anyone’s curious, the first step is wrong. e^x minus its integral is a constant. Not necessarily zero.

This is the most ridiculously western take…

I’m bi trans and Arab and I stand with Palestine against the Israeli genocide and against Hamas’ Islamist terrorism.

The entire Arab world sucks to be queer in (literally why I emigrated), but that’s not what any of this is about?

Also I know you might find this hard to believe but LGBT Palestinians exist.

The second option. With the first option you’ll end up in situations where you have spare compute/network resource that isn’t being utilised because all the remaining ones in the current batch of 100 are being handled by other threads / worker processes.

Do you even history?