this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
219 points (97.8% liked)

Not The Onion

12209 readers
455 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Maduro declared, “This year and to honor you all... I am going to decree the beginning of Christmas on October 1.”

top 29 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 62 points 2 months ago

Christmas has come early this year in Venezuela! ...under threat of imprisonment.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago

Damn, he really focuses on important issues doesn't he

[–] wallybeavis@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago
[–] servobobo@feddit.nl 27 points 2 months ago

Oh nice he has the same calendar that the shops near me use!

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] WhatThaFudge@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

How is this a better link? Its a different source but what makes the Guardian better?

Ground News lets you at least choose the outlet you read it from.

At least unlike most times this Guardian article is written by them and not just quoting the AP source like most other sites are doing.

("Original AP News Article - Better link than above)

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The original link was popup city on mobile and only 1 short paragraph. I had to Google to find a reasonable summary

[–] WhatThaFudge@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 months ago

Fair enough! Never browsed Ground.News on mobile so did not know =)

[–] MerchantsOfMisery@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The site you posted is damn near unreadable on my phone.

The future fucking sucks. I hate the enshittification of the internet.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I thought you were exaggerating, but it's a literal nightmare on mobile.

[–] twistypencil@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Absolute horror on mobile

[–] vxx@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I use ground news too, it's fantastic for getting worldwide news.

Well, I usually pick a source with high factually and post it here, since I figured it was more of an aggregator than a source. I also thought it being subscription based makes it hard for users that don't have the app and/or account.

You could add a "found on ground news" in the body or comments.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 18 points 2 months ago

Thanks maduro, now I can finally dress as an xmas tree for Halloween!!! Fucking idiot dictators.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 15 points 2 months ago

angry datetime developer noises

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] masterbaexunn@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

You dropped a T.

Twat

[–] abcd@feddit.org 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No Christmas tree? Straight to jail!

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Christmas tree too big? Also jail.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

Christmas ball colors reminding USA too much? Double jail

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

C'mon, guys! Maduro totally knows what he's doing! He even talked to Jesus and Christ is all cool with celebrating his 2024th birthday 3 months early, it's totally not the dumbest, least effective smokescreen ever in recorded history!

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I mean, Jesus wasn't born on December 25th, that's just a fact that the holiday was already moved to roughly the date of the winter solstice to usurp and syncretize pagan festivals.

Real weirdo move regardless.

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Piece of shit authoritarian. What a useless and irritating gesture. You lost the election, time to go.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

spoilerdafuq?

[–] No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I want to see people to talk about the war in Christmas be happy with him.

[–] monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Technically they should want to invade. Unless of course he means it goes for 3 months straight.

So he's finally decided to embrace retail capitalism?

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

The overall latitude and time maps are about to get crazy!

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In the Communist future, the Hallmark channel runs Christmas movies in May. And the stores start decorating in August.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

/s?

Because I'm pretty sure you just described the capitalist present.