this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
284 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12209 readers
451 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Archived link

The head of Russia’s consumer protection watchdog said Monday that “traditional” values will help the country avoid an outbreak of the infectious viral disease mpox, which spreads through close physical and sexual contact.

The World Health Organization declared a global health emergency last week as mpox, also known as monkeypox, continued to spread in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and elsewhere in Africa. The agency notes that the disease “primarily affect[s] men who have sex with men.”

“Considering the peculiarities of the ways it spreads, I’m absolutely sure that [mpox] is not dangerous or scary as an epidemic in Russia with its traditional values,” Anna Popova, who heads Rospotrebnadzor, told the Telegram news channel shot.

A total of three monkeypox cases were detected “over the entire past period,” Popova said without specifying which time period she meant. “We didn’t allow any of it to spread.”

LGBTQ+ rights in Russia have come under pressure over the past decade as officials railed against what they called the antithesis of Russian “traditional” values.

Last year, Russia’s Supreme Court designated the so-called “international LGBT public movement” as “extremist,” a move that essentially places all LGBTQ+ Russians at risk of criminal prosecution.

top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just like these traditional values prevented the spread of HIV in Russia, eh?

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The thing I find most interesting is that the head of a "consumer protection watchdog" is making statements that should only be made by medical scientists... You know, virologists, doctors, etc?

In Russia, corporate whore puppet is also medical doctor!

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 45 points 2 months ago

its almost comical. i remember when the conservatives used god as their HIV shield until their secretly homosexual husbands brought it to them... then suddenly it was a 'disease that affects everyone'

idiots

[–] Irremarkable@fedia.io 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I too support traditional values in Russia

Specifically the traditional values of steppe nomads absolutely kicking Russia's teeth in.

Yes, I'm aware it wasn't called Russia at the time

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hordes of Steppe nomads armed with drones is a terrifying thought

[–] Irremarkable@fedia.io 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not to get too serious, but someone brought up the point regarding all these drone firework shows, usually in part created out of respect of veterans with PTSD. I really wonder if drone warfare will end up with the same effect. I really hope not, no one deserves that

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

At least predator drones killed you silently, definitely no PTSD from that!

[–] aniki@lemmings.world 9 points 2 months ago

The children of Afganistan fear blue skies, so we have that going for us!

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Oh don't worry we already have completely silent drone rotors, they're just not manufactured on a large enough scale that Ukraine can easily get ahold of them.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago

FPV drones very much don't. That's a super distinct sound.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Given how much FSB and others love to torture men by anal rape, Russia should be at a high-risk alert.

[–] 0rg45mlc5uck3r84@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Dedovshchina is Life, Dedovshchina is Love

[–] EdanGrey@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Let's bookmark this for say, 12 months, and come back to it shall we?

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 22 points 2 months ago

Their traditional values of not giving a shit about the people?

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There is scientific evidence of monkeypox spreading via aerosols, therefore claiming it's a "gay disease" is a grave mistake. It's the same mistake that was made with HIV.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 months ago

Aha, but if the aerosols only come from gay butts, Russia stay safe and strong.

[–] antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do not Google "HIV/AIDS in Russia", do not Google "HIV/AIDS in Russia", do not Google "HIV/AIDS in Russia"...

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Good news: since there are no gays in Russia (official government position), there is no HIV in Russia, since it's only transmitted by the gay sex (official government position).

(Excuse me while I wash the fingers I used to type that)

[–] wafflez@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

For HIV/AIDS, you're gonna wanna Bing it.

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 months ago

While speaking about traditional values, Anna hesitated several times while she stabbed random bystanders

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well i guess u cant die of disease if u get shot in a meat wave.

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Traditional Russian values means that you're simply left to die and go unreported until the collapse of the next dictatorship.

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Your glorious death for the tsar.

[–] ProvableGecko@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro once it gets to elementary schools it's joever, nothing can stop a pandemic after that.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dude it would obviously only affect the elementary schools where they have gay sex.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They have Catholic schools in Russia?!

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They have Russian Orthodox schools, which are basically the same thing but with taller hat and more beard.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And bleach cures covid, you fucking cunts.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Sufficient bleach makes any disease go away.

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

yes. the traditional values of the russian bathhouse.

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure they found an officer bunk with a gimp shit in there

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Does it just stay in the suit? :(

[–] DFWSAM@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just like being hetero protects from HIV…riiight.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Popova be like: Dying is gay, as said by our ancestors.

[–] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

“Traditional Values” = “We murder homosexuals”