Am I the Asshole?

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AITA for blaming my mother for getting me an autism diagnosis (and as I interpret it, to later sabotage my career)? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 months ago by Persen@lemmy.world to c/aita@lemmy.ml

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To clarify. Me and most of my family live in Slovenia (a country which claims to be progressive, but discrimination (especially against autistic people) is still very prevalent). I was diagnosed at 3 years of age (without my consent of course). In primary school she (my mother) disclosed my diagnosis without my consent which led to me being treated like people with down syndrome (despite my above average grades). In high school I explicitly asked her not to disclose it, but she did it anyway (since I already proved my intelligence, I'm now treated like I have schizophrenia). When I confronted her about it, she just acted like I didn't say anything. If that wasn't enough, I failed my car medical exam as the examiner claimed I was stupid, which led me to a psychological exam, where the psychologist claimed I don't take responsibility for my actions (which is why I believe I failed) despite me never accusing anyone else of anything. Now I'm forced to retake it in one year (and hope I get treated fairly next time).

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[–] viking@infosec.pub 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You're not the asshole for asking your mom not to disclose your condition, but failing your driving exam isn't her fault, that one's on you.

That said, you never did anything really that could be considered an actual AITA situation?

Lastly, maybe now that you are an adult, get a second evaluation to check if you're actually autistic. Those early childhood tests are often flawed, and you seem to consider it as a stigma. So I'd double check it on your own terms.

[–] Persen@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The worst problem is not that she disclosed my diagnosis. It is, that she (in her words) knew it, but still consented to my diagnosis before I could do it myself.
Well, This wasn't a driving exam yet, It was a psychological evaluation, which I knew, I could finish easily if it was fair. The results were practically: He finished all the tests fine, but he doesn't have any self confidence and is arrogant (just describing autistic stereotypes).

*As far as I know, I actually am autistic. I struggle with socialization, sometimes sensory overload, shutdowns and meltdowns.

[–] phantomwise@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't think you're the asshole for having wanted to have a say in your own life as a child and being mad at being ignored. I'd be pissed too...

[–] Persen@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Wow, thanks.