this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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[–] can@sh.itjust.works 26 points 6 months ago
[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 24 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Maaaan I wish I had an environment like this at home when I was a kid... I always like to imagine how nice the feeling of safety must be for kids with a nice family. Well... For ppl like myself, let's hope that we can be the family we wish we had...

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

For ppl like myself, let's hope that we can be the family we wish we had...

A thousand times this! My family sucked at being supportive. But if anything, they taught me what not to do as a parent.

[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But if anything, they taught me what not to do as a parent.

Hehe yeah, that's the unfortunate silver lining...

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 points 6 months ago

On that note, both my parents were physically abused as kids, but never laid a hand on me or my siblings. Like most parents, they weren't great at parenting, but I am thankful I never had to be really afraid of my parents.

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Man, growing up I rarely had hobbies. Just study or nothing. Even then, I remember being scared of my mom if I slipped even just a little. That translated to the fact that now, if I get rejected from a job, I feel like worthless garbage. I am unemployed for last 10 months or so and the toll is high.

I really wish my mom was supportive of me, but well that’s the past, I guess.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My mum simply doesn't understand temporary joblessness. She doesn't understand that people might need to take some time to figure out who they are and what they want to do, and that jumping from one job to another without any pause is akin to a mental disease.

It sucks also that the world will not let you tread water, financially I mean. I have two months before my contract ends and already I'm sweating at the prospect of a) not having a job lined up, and b) facing my mother without one.

(I should add that in all other respects, she is a sweet lady)

[–] Bipta@kbin.social -5 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Break the cycle by not having children. Otherwise, adopt.

[–] red_rising@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Or have a child and love the crap out of them like they deserve.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

yeah but the cycle of abuse and suffering will still wrap back around.

[–] ahal@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 months ago

Maybe, maybe not

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago

You must be fun at parties

[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago

How does having kids = being a bad parent?

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, break the cycle by having kids and raising them properly. Cut your antinatalist BS.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

that's not breaking the cycle. that's continuing the cycle. it's a cycle.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The cycle which keeps our species alive

[–] Legend@lemmy.sdf.org -4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah don't mind the suffering we have to endure the only thing that matters is KEEPING OUR SPECIES ALIVE for whatever reason . stfu

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you have to bring the entirety of humanity down with you. Please get help, you have clearly been hurt. Whether it be therapy, counselling, or finding God. It's not okay to take it out on others to the point where you are telling people not to reproduce.

[–] Legend@lemmy.sdf.org 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Finding God lol where is he hiding . And no I'm not in need of help but maybe you are if you feel this strong about my comment . Having kids in terrible condition is morally wrong and all you need to understand is logic and two braincells which you clearly don't have so go back to whence you came idiot .

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How can you say something is morally wrong yet also claim God's not real? Don't you see how contradictory that is? We aren't in a terrible condition to have kids as well. It's not morally wrong to create another human being.

[–] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

While I had a lot of things that made me angry at my mom in my early 20s, I realized she did this with me with my music. Sometimes she still would suggest I go into sales and get a big boy job and get down on me for my choices, but I also know on her good days she was super supportive. The last panel is word for word what she would say.

[–] Wrench@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wanting you to have a stable career as well as a passion hobby are not incompatible. It's when you want to make your passion hobby your profession, when the chances are extremely low of being successful, that you get conflict.

I don't know anything about your relationship, but it's likely the negativity comes from a place of wanting you to have a comfortable, practical life.

[–] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Oh yeah I've had that conversation over and over. I'm well aware of the reality of a profession in music, but I also have realized in the 10 years I spent in corporate America that I can't live that life.

Someone said "don't get a career in the arts until you've exhausted all other options". It was annoying to have to constantly convince my mom that I was deeply unhappy in those roles, but she's come around a bit more especially because I'm actually finding success following my passion.

It's a rough road for sure, but I've found avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.