Sorry for another “Is this autism or normal human behavior?” Post.

There’s a long story as to why I am experiencing this again but it’s not really any more relevant then the title of this post.

For older folk it’s like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa, out of pity, give Ralf Wiggim a valentines day card and he immediately starts invisioning a future with her as his romantic parter.

I’ve identified I have this same trait and I hate it. Looking back I’ve totally made people who had been nothing but kind to me uncomfortable and shut me out because of this.

Now knowing that I am doing this is at least making me a little more in control and hopfully less weird. But now I need to stop and asses every interaction I have which is itself awkward.

  • BOMBS@lemmy.worldMEnglish
    3·
    7 months ago

    Sorry for another “Is this autism or normal human behavior?” Post.

    I don’t think you have to apologize for this. Seeking support with these situations is one of the reasons this community exists. It’s even explicitly stated in the sidebar under encouraged:

    1. Questions regarding autism.
    1. Seeking and sharing support.

    Ask away!

  • Horrible_Goblin@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    7 months ago

    don’t know about how big a factor autism actually is. I mean, sure might not pick up on some signals others would have.

    But if I look at my own life, i think its mainly cravings… wanting to believe it.

    Being single is quite a big topic in my life, and not one I’m happy about. I really miss the cuddles, the affection… just to play the game of dating even. So when that suddenly seems to present itself out of the blue, I might be way less critical of how i observe the situation than I otherwise might

    Another factor, and this might be more auty related, is genuinly not being able to read what I mean or that person, or what they are expecting from me.

    Hope this helps

  • 342345@feddit.deEnglish
    2·
    7 months ago

    When I imagine Ralph, I see an outsider who is avoided by the other children and ignored by the teachers, with a loving but somehow helpless father. …being lonely , not being part of the group, not understanding the rules of the world around him.

    I think it has to do with the need for attention and closeness. When you lack it, you turn to the person who has already fulfilled this need for you. It’s hard to live with unfulfilled needs that you can’t fulfill yourself. I guess the key is to learn how to find a relationship where your feelings are reciprocated (and to find out when they are not). I know that feeling and I don’t have a solution.

    I don’t know whether this is a characteristic that is more prevalent in autistic people.

  • NounsAndWords@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    7 months ago

    This is also, from what I understand, a symptom of “complex trauma”…which can be caused by living in a world that is not designed for you and forces you to mask yourself at all times for years/decades at a time.

    Edit: And based on your other comment it could certainly be a cause of the trauma that your therapist is apparently sensing.

  • ghostrider2112@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    7 months ago

    Stopping and assessing every interaction is a very good way to gain the automatic self-awareness that will help you resolve the overall issue that you express.

  • r3df0x ✡️✝☪️@7.62x54r.ruEnglish
    12·
    7 months ago

    It’s common among inexperienced males to get overly excited at female attention.

    It’s also common for men in general to assume that every woman who talks to them wants to have sex with them.

    • Seigest@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      2·
      7 months ago

      Though I won’t argue the truth on that in some cases it’s not relevant to this situation.Your making a lot of assumptions here, and that might be my own lack of clarity in writing.

      Intrusive thoughts do not represent actual conscious feeling, this is why they are so repulsive to those experiencing them. They can be sexual sure. Intrusive thoughts can also be extreamly violent, or just weird. As an Ace I really do not like sexual thoughts and the conscious part of my brain whould much prefer focusing on work or food.

      We all do this to varying degrees. We can have fantasies about driving certian politicians into a slow chipper but that doesn’t mean I actually want to harm people. Maybe you want to beat a man to death for cutting you off in traffic. I’d be much happier if my mind didn’t go to such places but it does, in a more functional awake state the idea churns my stomach.

      I do wonder if being autistic means we are just more in touch with, and more repulsed by, our Intrusive thoughts.

      Also there is no females involved, I’ve never had intrest in men on any level but Intrusive thoughts don’t really work in sensible way.