Lately I have been listening to the album “The Blessed Unrest” by Sara Bareilles.
From “I Choose You” being the song my wife and I chose to walk down the aisle to (before my egg cracked) to that same beautiful woman playing “Brave” for me - giving me strength to come out as trans to family. This album has become a staple in my transition and it’s easy to see my self throughout it’s lyrics and melodies.
“Hercules” is also a good song about pleading for inner strength - which for me, means becoming my authentic self as Olivia. Here is a verse from that song that resonates with me:
I’ve lost a grip on where I started from I wish I’d thought ahead and left a few crumbs I’m on the hunt for who I’ve not yet become But I’d settle for little equilibrium There is a war inside my heart gone silent Both sides dissatisfied and somewhat violent The issue I have now begun to see I am the only lonely casualty
“Strawberry Fields Forever” by the Beatles was a huge one for me.
Living is easy with eyes closed, Misunderstanding all you see,
It’s getting hard to be someone but it all works out, It doesn’t matter much to me
It gets on those feelings of being so heavily depressed and consumed by dysphoria but having no idea what you’re going through but knowing something is wrong but also not giving a shit about anything.
“Look At Me” by John Lennon always calms me down when I feel overly insecure or lost. I always want answers on what exactly I’m supposed to do. Am I really 100% trans? When do I transition? What if I mess up and get something wrong? How do I be a man “correctly”? There’s never an answer to any of the questions asked, he’s just singing into the void. You’ve gotta find your own answers, there’s no objective, universal solution to anything. It’s all trial and error and feeling your way through blindly.
Look at me, Look at me,
What am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be?
Here I am,
What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?
Finally, “The Tourist” by Radiohead just resonates with me. It’s so good and makes me feel alive.
It barks at no one else but me, Like it’s just seen a ghost
Hey, man, slow down, slow down, Idiot, slow down, slow down