I’m sure it’s quite common for NT people to vary their personality to suit the occasion too but ASD masking is more than just slight personality changes and requires huge effort and energy to sustain.
I didn’t overcome masking. I did really well juggling masks in early high school but it requires more and more effort as you get older while constantly grinding you down, which limits your ability to juggle masks at which point things start to collapse and you burnout. I ended up in hospital then moved out to a remote bushland location to become a hermit.
Go and see a healthcare professional if you are struggling. Diving in and taking your mental health seriously is really the only thing that will start you on the path to recovery.
I see, ya I lean introvert so it does take time to recover after socializing. It’s been getting easier as I age because I don’t try to impress others as much.
When you say mask, what would you have to mask?
I’m sorry you had to move and become a hermit. I hope you find happiness or have already found it.
Does talking on the Internet also cause any kind of burnout or do you use masking on the net?
I’ve always been a lurker online. I’ve only just committed to trying to involve myself in the ASD community recently. But talking online doesn’t require the effort of masking in person because there’s not body language to interpret and mimic, speech patterns or accents that have to be changed and I can take as much time as I need to form and edit a reply. Plus if I feel the need to, I don’t have to respond to someone online or I can kill the account and start with a fresh one. Much less pressure.
I, too, prefer talking online/through text than verbally. It gives me time to collect my thoughts and put them in to words. In person I often fumble over my words. Or swap words in a sentence.
I also don’t have to worry about people interrupting me to chime in with something while I’m speaking. That always throws me off my thought process and it leaves me kind of scrambling for a response. Which almost always defaults to a short, one or two word answer.
This also happens to make job interviews one of the most stressful things for me to ever deal with. It is so mentally exhausting trying to give good eye contact, have a friendly facial expression, not stim, and then answer whatever curveball questions they throw at me in a timely manner.
0/10 do not recommend.
I also don’t have to worry about people interrupting me to chime in with something while I’m speaking. That always throws me off my thought process and it leaves me kind of scrambling for a response. Which almost always defaults to a short, one or two word answer.
This drives me nuts! I often completely lose the train of thought and go blank. I also have very little patience for frustration and interrupting me while I’m spending the effort trying to articulate thoughts is a good way to piss me off.
In my late teens/early 20s, long before I was diagnosed, I tried to do some work on improving social skills and read books by former FBI/CIA people on body language and interview techniques (lots of info on interpreting peoples actions, words and motives), some self-help books (total crap and not helpful) and social dynamics. The body language and interview techniques were helpful for navigating some of the adult situations I hadn’t dealt with before (job interviews, meetings with figures of authority that can be stressful).
I’m sure it’s quite common for NT people to vary their personality to suit the occasion too but ASD masking is more than just slight personality changes and requires huge effort and energy to sustain.
I didn’t overcome masking. I did really well juggling masks in early high school but it requires more and more effort as you get older while constantly grinding you down, which limits your ability to juggle masks at which point things start to collapse and you burnout. I ended up in hospital then moved out to a remote bushland location to become a hermit.
Go and see a healthcare professional if you are struggling. Diving in and taking your mental health seriously is really the only thing that will start you on the path to recovery.
I see, ya I lean introvert so it does take time to recover after socializing. It’s been getting easier as I age because I don’t try to impress others as much.
When you say mask, what would you have to mask?
I’m sorry you had to move and become a hermit. I hope you find happiness or have already found it.
Does talking on the Internet also cause any kind of burnout or do you use masking on the net?
Heres two quick youtube videos that explain ASD masking better than I could.
Autistic Masking In 3 Minutes - Autistic Masking In A Nutshell
The Problem with Masking ADHD and Autism (burnout, etc.)
I’ve always been a lurker online. I’ve only just committed to trying to involve myself in the ASD community recently. But talking online doesn’t require the effort of masking in person because there’s not body language to interpret and mimic, speech patterns or accents that have to be changed and I can take as much time as I need to form and edit a reply. Plus if I feel the need to, I don’t have to respond to someone online or I can kill the account and start with a fresh one. Much less pressure.
I, too, prefer talking online/through text than verbally. It gives me time to collect my thoughts and put them in to words. In person I often fumble over my words. Or swap words in a sentence.
I also don’t have to worry about people interrupting me to chime in with something while I’m speaking. That always throws me off my thought process and it leaves me kind of scrambling for a response. Which almost always defaults to a short, one or two word answer.
This also happens to make job interviews one of the most stressful things for me to ever deal with. It is so mentally exhausting trying to give good eye contact, have a friendly facial expression, not stim, and then answer whatever curveball questions they throw at me in a timely manner.
0/10 do not recommend.
This drives me nuts! I often completely lose the train of thought and go blank. I also have very little patience for frustration and interrupting me while I’m spending the effort trying to articulate thoughts is a good way to piss me off.
In my late teens/early 20s, long before I was diagnosed, I tried to do some work on improving social skills and read books by former FBI/CIA people on body language and interview techniques (lots of info on interpreting peoples actions, words and motives), some self-help books (total crap and not helpful) and social dynamics. The body language and interview techniques were helpful for navigating some of the adult situations I hadn’t dealt with before (job interviews, meetings with figures of authority that can be stressful).