We look forward to having your father in our facility. We’re sure he’ll like it here at Shady Acres.

What accommodations will he need with us here?

• Is he mobile and can walk on his own or does he need a walker or a wheel chair?
• What is his medication schedule?
• What genre of games does he play? RPG, FPS, RTS?
• Is he an angry gamer? Do we need to stock extra controllers/keyboards because he throws a fit when he gets headshot like a bitch?
• Is he a spawn camping piece of shit?
• Do we need to worry about him griefing or tea bagging everyone?
• Will he buy a Defuse kit and “rush B” if he has the bomb?
• Can you provide a list of skins he owns in various games?
• Can he use Push-to-talk or not breath into the goddamn mic when on voice chat or discord?
• Is he good at trash talking where his burns are witty and on-point, or does he just scree into the chat with nonsensical garbage like a fucking child?

You will work till you’re dead.