Everything just seems so out of control. The US seems to be tearing itself apart. The world is on fire. We seem to be going backwards when it comes to freedom and human rights. We’ve turned our backs on each other. How do you cope with all this without just giving up?
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How do I cope?
The media sells the idea the world is on fire. By a lot of measures, humanity is the best it’s ever been:
Things do seem bad, things do need fixing. My advice is to pick one singular part of the world you want to improve and figure out how to fix it. Something like abolishing prison labor or environmentalism. It needs to be something you can make a noticeable dent in, where you can see your own contribution to the effort.
Don’t change tack every time something new like Isreal-Hamas or the scuffle at the US-Mexico border happens. You picked that one thing to fix, remember? And unless you plan on going down to the border with a gun, how do you plan on making a real difference? If you can’t make a difference, why let it bother you?
Don’t spend all your time reading news, they are purposely negative because it generates more interest and money, don’t take everything you read as truth.
99% of these problems won’t turn into anything other than a faded memory.
End of the day, nothing you can do will change what’s happening half way across the world, so why let it change you?
Meditation (as in, observing your thoughts without judgement, allowing them space, cultivating awareness and compassion). You don’t have to sit and focus on a candle or image or get the right breathing techniques or follow any kind of religion. Pema Chodron’s books are a very accessible and easy to read, and you don’t need to be a Buddhist to follow her work.
Look for spiritual sustenance in nature and in compassionate people. I find a lot of reassuring and helpful approaches in Jiddu Krishnamurti’s works, particularly his understanding that cultivating awareness and honest, open observation will increase compassion in yourself and will spread compassion in the world. (It’s more nuanced than that, but that’s an element of his observations). People with something genuinely helpful to say are not selling you anything - neither an idea or a product.
The news is there to sell things - ideas and products. Most news sources are selling a political and/or religious idea and bias as well as literally advertising products. News media is a business, making money from advertising. They don’t make money from selling ideas that life can be satisfying or enjoyable without buying stuff or doing things that make politicians and religious leaders more rich or powerful. Always read the news with a critical eye and look at what isn’t being focused on, not what is. Search for interesting personal stories, not headlines to get a slightly better perspective on the world.
There was a study done a few years ago that found that 60% of social media accounts were fake. That number is probably higher now, and there is more AI, too. The news and media and even federated systems are all manipulated in various ways. Huge congregations of right wing end-times Christians work like bot farms to spread fear and misinformation across all platforms: their goal is to speed up destruction because they believe in an afterlife that is only possible if the unbelievers are destroyed. They spread so much fear around feminism, LGBTQ+ issues, trans debates, flat earth nonsense, climate change denial, pro and anti vaccine arguments, etc. They just use whatever works to stir people up; they will take either side of an argument. The Taliban and Al-Queada worked in the same way, to similar ends. Israel and Russia and China all use these manipulation tactics too, to slightly different ends. The UK and Europe have other methods and goals (destroy threats to capitalism and neo colonialism, be seen as good guys). There are bot farms, hackers and paid accounts for every type of greedy power addict. But they all want destruction of perceived rivals, and they want one group of people to be afraid of another. It’s all lies and manipulation - some of it works, in a way, but a lot of it doesn’t. The fact they are all using these tactics show how desperate and afraid they are. We need to remember just how manipulated news stories and media are, and how the governments and organisations of the world are all trying to fool each other’s populations. Before the internet, you only saw your own country’s propaganda - now you see it all, and the system is falling apart in front of our eyes.
The news is not the sum total of things that are happening; it’s what is making someone more money or more power. The news doesn’t report all the people who had a pleasant day, or did a little bit better than yesterday - but how can it? Remember that for every horror story in the news, a thousand times more people were doing OK or better.
Do something that brings you actual joy every day. If you are honest with yourself, you find that actual joy is always the simple things - a favourite food, bouncing a ball, sitting under a tree, reading a good story, caring for a pet, holding hands quietly with a loved one, watching the clouds, riding a bike in nature, making music and art, reading a comic… Whatever small joys you can find, do them every day if you can, even if you’re living in a war zone. The small joys are reality, and sometimes you’ll experience big joys, although you don’t need them so often. News and depressive thoughts are not reality, only skewed and biased ways of looking at parts of reality. Moments of small joy are often all of reality that really matters.
Meditation (in whatever form works for you) can help you to experience the sensation that you are not your thoughts. “You” are something that exists with or without thoughts. It is not enough to consider this idea, it is something you need to actually experience, as often as possible. By extension, the world is not the collective thoughts and opinions of people: there is a reality of existence beyond all the nonsense we project on top of it.
Look for humour and go back to things that help you remember that there is always a lot to laugh about in world. Try to avoid cruel, mocking humour and yet be open to finding life-affirming humour even amongst the worst tragedies.
Cultivate compassion for yourself and the world around you. Ultimately aim to do everything out of compassion - not obsession or selfishness, fear or greed. If you need to be alone, be compassionate for yourself and others that need to be alone; if you need to be with other people, be compassionate for them. Don’t look for things in return: it is not a transaction. Compassionate action will not only bring you joy and peace, they will spread it. Practice compassion for everything - plants, animals, yourself, and other people. True compassion is not draining or tiring; it is a letting go of things like prejudice and judgement. It is not easy to do, it is something to work at.
Have positive, achievable goals and work on them whenever you can. You will get setbacks; it’s OK. Life shouldn’t be lived on a flat surface, there should ups and downs. It’s a journey, and a true journey should be interesting, across a changing landscape. When you have downs, recognise that there will necessarily be an up before long. The same us true for people around you, and the world.
Work on things you can change for the better, don’t focus on what you can’t. But actually work on the things you can change. It doesn’t matter how small they are; in many ways, the universe is not interested in big or small; and small things can make big changes anyway, like atoms or bacteria or blood cells (which can all do equally good or bad things, from our human perspective).
There are injustices and tragedies and traumas happening around the world; there are as many beautiful, loving kind things happening at the same time, probably more. The internet, the TV, the newspapers, magazines, books and media are just very small windows for an infinitely large world. We often think we’re seeing everything, but we are seeing very little. Our only reality is when we are not looking at life through these small windows - but we spend so much time looking through them that we forget reality. Do things that take you back to reality. If that reality is painful, approach it with compassion and it will gradually get less painful.
Work in reducing suffering in all forms for yourself and everything around you. Don’t contribute to suffering and don’t dwell on guilt and fear. Acknowledge those experiences, but let them pass. Don’t push bad things away, but don’t give them energy - just observe them, and return to things that create joy and peace, no matter how small. You don’t have to fix things or cure things that are bad, just work on making them a little bit better.
Remember that a lot of bad news is only a matter of perspective. So much of what we hear about - wars, corruption, illness, oppression, greed - are clear signs that the perpetrators of those things are desperate. Desperate people feel as though they are losing; they are doing everything they can to hold on to power, and they are lashing out. But they are losing the fight (most of which is with themselves or each other). Yes, we are the victims of their lashing out, but their viciousness and fear-mongering is because they are losing. They are losing because they have lost compassion and kindness and love. If we don’t cultivate those things, we will join them in desperation and fear; if we do continue to cultivate those things, they can never defeat us, because we are not even trying to win or to fight. We are surviving and growing and living. They can hurt us, but they can’t defeat us, and when they hurt us, they hurt themselves. But when we try to hurt them, we hurt ourselves, too. We end the fight by inviting them (the desperate, the rich, the powerful) to join us in compassion and kindness, by turning away from suffering and from causing suffering. There is no action too small to help make the world a better place.
Thank you for coming to my Wendy’s Ted Talk.
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
To be clear I hate religion but wisdom is where you find it.
The world Sidrattha (the Buddha) lived in is more horrible than anyone alive can imagine, except maybe North Koreans. In a culture where you were legally allowed to beat an untouchable they let their shadow pass on you, in a culture where the penalty for a slave caught praying was to have their tongue ripped out. In this world he taught a message of the inherit goodness and inner strength of humanity. His last spoken words were to remind people that no one needed him and they should work on themselves with diligence.
Now if he could see our potential in that hellscape I think we can manage to see it. And no I don’t think you or anyone else should become a Buddhist.
Focus:
Exactly as Stephen R. Covey pointed-out, in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families”
https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Effective-Families-Revised-Updated/dp/1250857775/
You have a Circle-of-Concern: all the things you attach your awareness on,
and you also have a Circle-of-Influence: all the things you actually can alter.
Since the bigger your Circle-of-Concern, the LESS life-energy you have for your Circle-of-Influence, therefore you need to deliberately reduce your Circle-of-Concern, in order to expand your Circle-of-influence.
That’s it: it’s that simple.
Deny awareness-vampire processes your lifeblood.
Own your own self, more, & use that self-owning in order to make your portion of the world more-healthy.
Just because mass-media did all it could to make one boundaryless, helplessly stuck in consuming-trance, bedazzled & led-along like steers the industry is bringing into the abbatoir, doesn’t mean that you or I agreed to our lives doing/being only that, does it?
We never agreed.
It is our right to break the “agreement” that our childhoods were signed-into, before we could do any considered-reasoning.
Either we have the guts & gall to do it, or our-lives are consumed by the “machine” that exists only for sake of its own transient profit-sensations.
Owning one’s own life is a right.
_ /\ _
On average the world is better than it’s ever been. Higher life expectancies, less war, better quality of life; it’s all generally on the up. Would you rather go back to the last financial crisis? When the ozone layer was being depleted? The interment threat of nuclear annihilation? Race riots? Women not being able to vote? High infant mortality? etc, etc
Some people argue that humanity was never freer, happier and healthier than before the agricultural revolution. Everything has gone to shit since we decided to settle down on a small plot of land.
How’s the argument go?
For about 60k years, between the cognitive revolution and the agricultural revolution, Sapiens was the apex predator of every ecosystem he lived in. People would move from pace to place, foraging and hunting a vast variety of plants and animals. They had the most diverse diet, didn’t rely on a small number of food products that would have exposed them to famine in case of collapse (like crops). Women had few children because they had to carry the younger ones and child mortality was not a challenge to the group survival: there were fewer diseases because they lived in small groups. People lived in tight communities and didn’t have to cope with the mental strains associated with long-term planning. Of course you could get killed by another tribe, eaten by a tiger or die from an infection. But your teeth and gums were healthy, you had the best diet, great overall physical health and people actually lived into their 60s.
It was much simpler when you were born, miraculously survived childhood, hunted, gathered, then died before your back even had time to get sore
Honestly it probably was a far more meaningful and fun life. Terrifying too, but super meaningful. The environment your brain evolved for. No old age horseshit, just a painful moment of death followed by your family mourning you. But no pictures or nothing, and everyone’s tripping on shrooms so you’re still there in spirit form. I’m joking as a reflex but I’m serious here. It was probably a better life overall. Seeing a worm and thinking of it as food, having no problem eating that little bastard because your stomach’s gnawing at ya. That’s life boy. Just raw dogging for all the jungle to see why the hell not. It’s prehistory baby. Anything goes.
Sorry I am trying to make a point. I think it would be better probably. Except for all the misery. The good parts would be super good. The non-awful parts would be super good.
Sounds like it would be cool for some kind of quantum-leap holiday, but I think in general I’d rather have the relative comfort and lack of preventable pain that modern technology provides!
There is less war, but that’s not always a great indicator. Depending on how you define “war” you could even define Ukraine/Russian war not as a war.
Life expectancy is going up because of 3rd world countries finally catching up. It’s going down in America.
The “world” is also getting richer. But the average person is getting poorer.
Also ozone layer isn’t doing great, there are race riots still, there is threat of nuclear war with Russia existing in its current state, a lot of rights are threatened and a lot of people want to return to a time before women’s suffrage. I haven’t looked up anything on infant mortality, but I imagine with abortion band happening that will also change for the worse.
The only peace I’ve found is action.
This is such a short-sighted and USA-centric response. Your life expectancy seems fine, and even if there were a blip I’m sure it will continue to increase on average. Wealth is not an objective measure of quality of life. The ozone layer repaired itself. Even in America you’ve got a lot less lynching than you used to have. Speak to anyone who lived through the cold war and tell them you think nuclear war is just as much of a threat now as it was then.
I do have arguments against all of what you said. But the funniest one is definitely the ozone layer.
You sure you want to say the ozone layer is fine? When was the last time you looked at anything talking about it?
As a result of the scientific findings and the possible severe impacts of ozone depletion, governments around the world began passing laws reducing or banning the production of CFCs and other ODSs. This culminated in the Montreal Protocol, agreed in 1987, which has now been signed by every member state of the United Nations. Signatories to the Montreal Protocol have agreed to phase out ODSs and replace them with less-damaging substances.
Since the passing of the Montreal Protocol, the emissions of ODSs have fallen to a fraction of their levels in the early 1980s and the ozone layer has begun to recover. The hole in the ozone layer over Antarctica still exists, but it has been slowly shrinking over the past two decades thanks to concerted international action.
https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/climate/climate-explained/ozone-layer
So not completely back to how it was before we fucked it, but the problem has been fixed
"By taking a holistic look at the yearly progression of the Antarctic ozone hole over the last two decades, we find that:
The addition of recent years to the Antarctic (60°S–90°S) total column ozone time series results in insignificant long-term change since the early 2000’s, even where significant recovery has previously been reported. During this time, we find a delay in both the deep ozone hole onset date as well as the breakup date."
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-023-42637-0
Tl:dr if all you’re doing is looking at the peak/minimum times of year it can seem better. The hole “breathes” and they’re getting delayed.
I work on diesel trucks, they create a lot of N0x. This article talks about how N0x being bad. It’s a niche thing but I at least understand why I tend to see these things first.
Ah bugger
Less war?
There’s a genocide going on in the middle east right now by settler colonialist fully backed by the western powers to destabilize the region and I’m sure you know that, it’s just irrelevant to you.
There’re too many neoliberals on lemmy, I can’t even deal fam
There were at least 2 other genocides in progress the last October when this mess started. You only care about this one because you have been told to.
Neoliberalism is really an economic philosophy. It doesn’t really have a lot to say about how a nation ought to position itself toward foreign wars. It’s not an all purpose slur for people who disagree with you.
Which ones are those? What?
The darfuri people in Sudan and the uyghur people in china were what I had in mind. But honestly, war that disproportionately impacts one ethnic group or another is a fairly common sort of war.
On average the world is better than it’s ever been
Of course, certain groups of people have been trying to reverse these trends in the name of…money? Tradition?
The newer generations are no longer becoming smarter (I believe it was the Flynn effect). Education is being defunded at all levels.
The cost of living in many parts of the world has been outpacing wages… especially now, but for decades. Yet we have more wealth hoarded into fewer hands.
Anti-vax and anti-science movements have been reintroducing measles and have been making it hard to fight other diseases.
We are seeing the effects of these things in action, and they will only get worse over time.
They’re trying to reverse those trends because acknowledging those trends means giving up on their theory that our dominant economic system is defunct.
It’s cancer and it’s killing us all.
Exactly. That kind of thinking doesn’t work when you realize the “cancer” is producing situations like:
Higher life expectancies, less war, better quality of life
Do you disagree with those statements? Do you need to see evidence before you’ll believe them?
Or do you acknowledge the statements, but disagree that they justify the “cancer” of our current economic system?
Do you disagree with those statements? Do you need to see evidence before you’ll believe them?\
I disagree with them.
Higher life expectancy - I wouldn’t attribute that to capitalism. Further more life expectancy in the US is declining afaik.
Less war - What do you mean? There’s a war in Ukraine, one in Palestine, and there’s been perpetual war since …forever. The US war machine always bombs some country, assassinates a democratically elected leader, etc.
Better quality of life - For the 1% at the expense of all the others maybe.Capitalism is all about profits, not about better products, better quality of life, etc. In fact it’s easily against those things if they get in the way of profit. You can see enshittification everywhere.
For example it would be against their interest for a pharmaceutical company to sell the permanent cure for a disease instead of life-long medical treatment. The latter would be subscription-based therefore create more profit. The cancer comparison is quite fitting imo.
I scroll lemmy. Apparently we are about to go to war with Texas.
We can never preach our values to the world again. How can our allies trust us?
The United States has been overthrowing democratically elected governments for a hundred years. The CIA has exported terrorism, trained gorilla soldiers to terrorize and torture civilians, and promoted fascism over democracy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_involvement_in_regime_change
We have a war on drugs that is really a war on people, an excuse to target people of color. We have a for profit prison system run by private corporations that lobby politicians in what is effectively legal bribery. Our entire economic system, capitalism, allows those with wealth to exploit those without, and to use their power and money to “lobby” politicians. People are never going to get a fair shake.
Edit: The US has amazing people and so much potential to survive and overcome our problems, but there’s a darkness that motivates people in power, maybe it’s fear of communism or fear of powerlessness, idk
It’s greed, mate
How do I cope? Poorly
Exactly what I was about to post
I’m 51, I grew up with media fear mongering of the Cold War, the hole in the ozone layer and AIDS. I don’t think there has ever been a period in my life where there hasn’t been a threat in some form or another, and I sleep like a baby. We aren’t going backwards, it’s just another day at the office.
If you find yourself worrying about events on the other side of the world then you need to switch off the news and focus on what you can control in your own life. Sure, WW3 could be around the corner, Covid 2 Electric Boogaloo could be more lethal or the icebergs could melt, but we can’t do a goddamn thing about it, so what is worrying going to accomplish?
Worry about paying the mortgage, making sure your family are fed, and stay safe.
Isn’t this a mindset for complacent people, though?
Don’t get me wrong, I think exactly like you. But sometimes, I feel that by thinking this way, I’m just taking a shortcut. It seems like an easy way out for issues that should be tackled by humanity (of which you and I are a part), and instead of contributing, we’re just letting it happen.
Think about activists, for example. To do what they do, they can’t just turn off the news and be oblivious to what’s happening. They might not be directly solving the problems, but they are doing something within their reach, even if it means feeling overwhelmed, like OP seems to be feeling.
Does any of this make sense?
How attached can you be without undoing your own mental stability?
Figure that out, then apply it. Please, the world needs you.
Copius amounts of alcohol.
I browse Lemmy & Reddit for 12-16hrs per day and eat out of bean tins. I shower once per week before meeting my probation officer.
That’s about it.
Favorite brand?
Damn thought you were asking them their favorite band. Hold my beer, I’m going in.
I love it when the next post on my feed fits perfectly
