I’ve got a niece (5) and nephew (3). The niece is really good about finding ways to entertain herself and the nephew will always try and take it for himself and intrude, usually not in a compromising sort of way. Obviously, this is pretty typical kid behavior overall.
She’s reaching the age where she can learn more complicated games and ideas, which sounds really fun to introduce her to. If he’s around, I feel like it will certainly cause a meltdown, and he’s too young to reasonably participate anyway.
As an older sibling myself. I think it’s also unfair to hold her back until he can participate too. Some would say it’s unfair to do it until he can as well. I would argue that it’s actually unfair to introduce 5 year old games to her when she is 7 and he’s 5 and can join too. She’s being punished imo unnecessarily and being held back. Why does she have to wait till 7 while he gets it at 5?
Is the only solution to try and schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities? Am I being biased as an older sibling myself in feeling that I would be holding back until he’s at the same capability? Just curious for feedback. Thanks
A 3 year old needs structured play so you have two choices here, firstly find a seperate adult to do the things the younger child needs, or secondly you can do the same activity but tier it. So say you want to teach the older child to paint with watercolours, that’s cool, get the younger one some paints too but they aren’t learning techniques but maybe being given a colouring page and working on painting between the lines.
Maybe the older one wants to play pokemon, get the little one an age appropriate game or interactive story on the ipad and help them both.
There’s basically 2 options, distract the younger kid with activities while playing games with the older kid, or let them play with you and help them a bit more. Both can be appropriate at times.
schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities
This is exactly what I do with my kids. Each of them gets a scheduled block of “choice time” with me to do whatever they like. When one kid’s time it up I say, “Thanks for playing with me, but it’s time to give X their choice time” and promptly move to the next kid. The quickly learn that they will get a turn, and they don’t like their own turn being interrupted, so they respect each other’s time blocks. I haven’t found another method that works well, at least in our family.
It’s important that you set expectations in advance and be consistent. If you run too long with one kid and give less time to the next kid they will immediately recognize the unfairness.
The way I handled this with my young siblings, was hand them a game controller unplugged.
Always sucked when that inevitable day came when they discovered the betrayal…
Yup my sister brings it up every time I visit.
But think about all the blissful peace until then…
Yep, give them a unpowerd controller and point at something on the screen and say that’s you. Worked like a charm.
Why can’t Parent1 do something with them seperately thats age-appropriate and ditto for Parent2, why do they have to be in the same room/physical space necessarily all the time, I don’t really get this.
My younger bro wanted to be involved but he knew he had to accelerate his learning cuz I wasn’t waiting for his 2-years-my-junior ass lol
Hell, we’re both grown-ass adults and the hierarchy STILL remains intact 😉
Your niece will probably brag to your nephew about the cool thing that she did, and rub it in that he was too young. That’s what siblings do. This is especially true if he’s ruined things in the past, and she’s harboring some resentment, which she almost certainly is.
I agree that it’s unfair to hold her back, but being left out and being forgotten are two very different things. Spend quality time with him, niece excluded, doing an activity that he will enjoy, or that he has chosen.
It is not your place to make such decisions. Harsh, but their parents have the final say. Therefore, talk with the parents if you wish, but be advised that they might take it the wrong way.
Da Fuq? You need permission to pay with your niece?
If the parents are upset about OP trying to play games with their kids, that’s not healthy.
Also how does he feel about “girl” stuff aha?
Watch Bluey. They’ll like it, and you’ll learn a few things too. There is also a board game and a mobile game.
Idk what you’re answering but I don’t think it’s any of the questions op asked
