I’m guessing here but I think you are asking this question in a cultural space that is pretty far removed from your own.

From a super individualistic Western perspective everyone seems to be saying fuck no, cut off the rot, look after yourself.

In many other cultures, the family unit remains extremely strong throughout life and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.

I watched some Vietnamese school friends of mine go from fresh off the boat with nothing, to owning half of the businesses in their town as well as MASSIVE generational wealth that will never go away.

They spread like a beautiful, productive fungus across their suburb by working together. First they all lived in one house, some worked, some started businesses. ALL of the money coming in paid off that house quickly, then they had two houses. Repeat the same again. Now they have 3 houses, all paid for. Now some money goes in to private schools for all the kids, university for all the kids. Now the kids are culturally obligated to contribute to the scheme with their high paying jobs as doctors and pharmacists.

The Vietnamese bakery in the small set of local shops has now bought out the butcher and the video store, the video store has become a pharmacy owned by the first two graduated children, then they bought the grocery store and the nail salon. Then they bought more profitable businesses in town: drive-through liquor stores and tobacconists.

We’re already talking millions of dollars per year of income. 3 houses has become 13 houses. Each Vietnamese family unit now has a house of their own and they are all paid for. The rest are rental income to add to the stack. They financially support their local temple, and they pay to bring more and more family members over who rapidly become productive members of the scheme.

At this point, they are unstoppable and it’s all because they were prepared to work together and endure that short term pain of overcrowded shared dwellings and give 100% of their income to the cause. Now they will all live comfortable lives together and have a myriad of passive income streams. The old people are taken care of, those who fall on hard times are taken care of.

I guess what I am saying is, on the surface it seems extremely unfair - but it sounds like you are part of a cultural support system that would absolutely catch you if you fall.

Further still, you are not being charged any rent or living expenses. Being able to save 50% of your income is not normal for 99% of people so you are already feeling the benefit of that safety net.

If you don’t feel like it’s for you and you want to get out of it I say that’s fine, you’re not bound to anyone. But if that is how you feel then you should immediately move out and truly go it alone.

I’d just warn you that many Westerners see the wisdom in the system you seem to have and wish that their own family unit could be so strong and cohesive. We really can accomplish a lot more together than we can as individuals.

This is entirely up to you and your internal set of ethics and obligation.

You didn’t mention if your Uncle is irresponsible or wasteful with money. For myself I think this would be the key to my sense of obligation.

If your Uncle is frugal and very careful with money, but needs more for basic quality of life for your nieces and nephews, then I would think its appropriate and fine to help out to some % of your disposable income, maybe 3% or 5%. Think of it like family based charity.

On the other hand if your Uncle is wasting money extravagantly, then there is no point in helping, because it will be - at best - wasted, and encourages the Uncle to continue wasting as much money as possible to always be in need to maximize the donations.

But this is entirely up to you, if you don’t want to pitch in, you don’t have to! However, it does set the tone for family expectations if you need help in the future.

I don’t even know if there is a country where you are obligated to financially support a parent or even a brother under any circumstance.

If you support a parent or a direct sibling, it is only because you want to do it and, as others have said, should be done only if it’s financially possible for you without sacrificing your wellbeing, decent living condition and future.

My dad left my mom when I was around 6 years old (I’m in my early 30 now), that person is just related with me by “blood” but he never supported me or my mom financially or in any other way. If he came to me now asking for any type of help, I would refuse without question. On the other hand, I owe everything I am to my mother, she sacrificed everything to give me the best path she could by herself. She is now close to retirement and in my country there is no way to live off savings or pension due to very hi inflation, so I will support her from that point forward in every way I can, but this is only because I feel that doing so is a way to be grateful of her taking care of me on her own and I want to give her back now that I’m able to.

This kind of question is what AmITheAsshole is for. So far our Lemmyverse AITA is all bot-mirrored content from Reddit. You ought to cross-post this question over there.

I’d say no. You are not your mother’s brother’s keeper. Now, if you want ease your your mind, or try to repair the damaged relationship. Or to give this guy a chance to improve his situation, you could offer to pay off the loan as a one time only, never again, doesn’t matter if they become homeless or will starve to death thing. But don’t give them money to pay it off, you go with them to the loan place and pay it off directly. Then you can say you gave them a chance to turn things around, it’s up to them at that point what they do. We all make mistakes, and sometimes need a hand to get out from under a bad situation. But if we keep putting ourselves into the fire, at some point we deserve the burns.