• mayoi@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    You aren’t obliged to tell anyone anything. If you care about identity politics, that’s a different issue. You’re either attracted to someone or not and there’s no label that can be put on a person in question unless they insist on having one.

    • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I already tried not having the language to describe my gender. It sucked. Nobody understood me. I’ve tried what you propose, and I was miserable with it. Why don’t you respect that evidence?

      • mayoi@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Have you tried not hanging around people who don’t understand “I’m not attracted to you”?

        • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          That’s not the problem. I had the word asexual back before I met another swarmgender person. And if I want to meet a second swarmgender person, it’d go a lot faster having the language to say what I want.

            • azulavoir@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              Yeah I looked that up online and the only results are:

              • This post

              • Chaos from Hades

              • Pokémon with the Swarm ability and genders.

              • kux@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                “swarmgender” gets me one result on ddg, on google i get three and they’re all this same guy

            • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              I found a post on Lemmy from 3 months ago where someone said “As a swarmgender person, mind-melding is how I have sex. And I don’t want to fuck you, so I’m not going to let you into my head. “

            • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              Socially and historically, the male and female genders are defined by their place within a traditional family structure, as “the strong one”, and “the nurturing one”. This isn’t a description of biology, it’s a description of social roles. Swarmgender people are also socially defined by roles within a family structure. Except for us, that structure is an scifi-insect-like hivemind. It’s not biology, but it is a social role, and social roles don’t have to make sense.

              • Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                I guess that makes sense, is there like a “queen” and “workers” or something? I guess i dont know much about insect social structures, i might be thinking anout bees specifically.

                • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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                  1 year ago

                  Real bees don’t have a sci-fi style hivemind, they communicate through dance and they’re a democracy. A more accurate term for the queen would be “mum”. Her job is to make babies, she doesn’t get to make any big decisions.

              • azulavoir@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                As someone for whom social roles do need to make sense (not in a phobic way I just have that sort of autism) I don’t get it

                • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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                  1 year ago

                  I don’t think anyone can get a gender they haven’t lived as. You know how many standup routines men have made about the mysterious creature known as the woman? If men find women baffling after a lifetime being around them, how can anyone expect men or women to understanding drones?